


Down the Rabbit Hole

by abbeypop



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan)
Genre: Ballet, Batman - Freeform, F/M, Joker - Freeform, Romance, Tension, The Dark Knight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-19 16:51:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 45,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3617169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbeypop/pseuds/abbeypop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Cheshire clown was inches away from Alice’s face. Her nostrils filled with scent of blood, gun powder, and gasoline.<br/>Before she could protest the clown leaned forward and touched his cheek to hers whispering in her ear,<br/>“I’ll see you at the tea party, Alice”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Black and White

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Joker fic and I hope you guys love it just as much as I loved writing it! Please leave a comment and review! Thank you so much for reading, this story will be updated weekly! ;)

Alice Rose Polanco sat quietly with her hands folded and her back straight. She inhaled and exhaled slowly as her eyes scanned the door in front of her reading the words “Artistic Director, Gothem City Ballet, David Kent”. Her pale hands were clammy and sweat gathered at her coppery brown hairline, she could already feel a headache coming on from the tightness of her slicked back hair. She reached a hand up and dug her fingers into the back of her neck massaging hard and closing her eyes.  
She was so nervous and didn’t understand why. She had auditioned for many ballet companies before and got in immediately as the highest ranking dancer, but for some reason auditioning for Gothem City Ballet made her anxious. Something about being in the familiar city in general made Alice anxious. She shook off her nerves and clenched her jaw as she inwardly scolded herself for being nervous about something so small.  
Alice Rose knew that she had nothing to worry about; she knew that she would be accepted into Gothem City Ballet purely because her name ended in Polanco and because of her truly amazing gift of dance. But Alice held the name of one of the most feared families in Gothem and everywhere she went she was reminded of her family’s awful legacy. People constantly stayed away from her fearing for their lives when they looked at her, but she often questioned what people were so afraid of. Even though the Polanco’s once ran Gothem’s most dangerous mob she was the only surviving member of her family, beside her uncle who was locked up in Arkham for reasons she did not know. But Alice certainly had no plans on carrying on her father’s legacy in running the mob so she had no idea why people were so scared of her.  
Maybe it was the rumors that had surfaced over the years, rumors that when Alice left Gothem at 17 she single handedly destroyed the mob from out of the country. Or maybe it was the rumor where she had joined the Russian army and used the Russian Ballet as a cover up, but despite those outrageous claims there was one rumor that was true. The one where she watched her parents die before her eyes at the hands of her only brother Peter.  
Her eyes shot open when she heard the door knob turn and she stood up instinctively. A young blond woman walked out the door gripping a paper to her chest grinning ear to ear. Alice knew this look all too well, that blond girl just had her dreams come true and was about to brag to all of Gothem about her new contract with GCB. Alice eyed her with jealousy as the blond left the waiting room squealing.  
“Alice Rose Polanco?” a man’s voice called out from the office in front of her. Alice walked forward and stepped into the office timidly noticing the attractive man behind the desk shuffling through papers rapidly, she stared at his unique features and the scruff that outlined his jaw and chiseled cheeks.  
“Please take a seat Miss Polanco”  
Alice’s stare broke as she sat down in front of the mahogany desk. He didn’t look up as Alice seated herself shifting with annoyance. He was still focused on shuffling though the papers all over his desk. This bothered Alice, usually all eyes went to her when she entered a room, her presence nearly demanded attention. Despite her nervousness she still wanted the man to acknowledge her. With an irritated look on her face she cleared her throat causing the man look up at her.  
His cool grey eyes locked with her soft honey brown ones as he opened his mouth realizing who she was. He recognized her distinct facial features and the small beauty mark that rested above her lip. Alice’s face and name has been plastered all over the news ever since her return to Gothem.  
David wanted to face palm as he realized his stupidity. How could he have not recognized that name?  
“I’m so sorry Miss Polanco, please forgive me and my messy office.” He stuttered motioning to the clutter of boxes and papers everywhere.  
“Oh please don’t apologize Mr. Kent” she replied softly. “Shall we get started now?” Alice added as she crossed her long legs getting more comfortable.  
The man in front of her nodded and placed his hands on top of the desk and tapped the surface nervously. Alice smiled inwardly as she realized the affect she had on him, just like the affect she had on any other man.  
“What a pleasure to see you return to Gothem Miss Polanco, it’s been some time since you were last here if I’m correct?” Alice nodded in response to his question. She noticed her nerves were at ease now.  
“I’m so sorry for your lose by the way” he blurted. “loosing your whole family at once must have been so hard for a young women like yourself.” David found himself wanting to bang his head into his desk, why was he so nervous and why the hell did he mention her family of all things.  
Alice gritted her teeth with anger. How dare the man she just met bring up her past. She looked down silently trying not to let the awful memories from that night flood her head. But it was too late, flashes of the pain played through her head like an old movie.  
“Alice I had to do it. I couldn’t live with myself if I let you die.” Peter shouted with tears streaming down his face. Alice rocked back and forth in a ball on the floor sobbing uncontrollably while she smelt the pool of crimson around her. Her mother and father lay dead next to her. Bullet holes covered their bodies. She looked up at her brothers hands that held the familiar silver revolver spattered with blood of her mom and dad. With rage in her eyes she unleashed a scream that rang through the night.  
She shook the dreadful memory from her head and tried to remain as composed as possible. She didn’t want to scare the dumbfounded man before her, but Alice gripped her knees with rage scaring him anyway.  
“Indeed it was really hard.” She responded coldly. “but I threw my emotions into my art and it has shaped me into the dancer I am today.” Alice continued trying to get back on the subject at hand, “that’s just part of why I think I would be a great addition to Gothem City Ballet.”  
David Kent cleared his throat and sat up a bit taller before responding. His sudden boost of confidence came from the true reason why she was sitting before him and that was because she was an amazing dancer.  
With that he replied, “Yes, indeed you would Miss Polanco, that’s why I’m offering you a three year contract with us here at GCB as our leading principal dancer.” Alice smiled as soon as the words met her ears. Kent continued to speak, “your record is very impressive. I see here you toured Europe with the Russian ballet for 4 years and I also see that you spent a year with Italian Ballet.”  
Alice nodded and spoke with a cool tone and a smile on her face “Yes. When I left Gothem I went with the Russian ballet. After touring with them in Europe I met the love of my life, William Knox. We decided to stay in Italy for a year before he convinced me to move back to Gothem with him.”  
But her smile dropped suddenly when she realized why he made such a generous offer.  
“Mr. Kent I do hope your offer has nothing to with pity or my status here in Gothem, because I would have to decline if s-“ Alice was cut off before she could finish her thought.  
“Oh please Miss Polanco, although your status in Gothem is very useful to us here, rest assured that my decision was based purely on what you danced on stage an hour ago.”  
She shifted in her seat and was taken aback by Kent’s honesty. She believed that he wanted her based on talent but Alice knew that part of the decision was made in fear of her family’s reputation. She sighed and silently cursed herself for being a part of one of the biggest mob families in Gothem. She had hoped that when she returned to Gothem no one would remember her legacy but clearly she was wrong. Her past always seemed to catch up with her.  
“Now Miss Polanco,” David continued, “I see here that you preformed that Black Swan variation from Swan Lake, that’s a very hard dance, not many people would try to attempt such a work. But I’m sure you blew everyone away no doubt.”  
David noticed the glare Alice had placed on him and he shifted in his seat losing his confidence once again. He looked down at his papers trying to hide his nervousness.  
“Yes I did.” She replied in a matter of fact tone clearly annoyed. David got the courage to glance up at the girl in front of him and warmly smiled at her.  
“Listen, I have seen you dance before Alice and you truly have a gift. I would be honored if you were to join Gothem City Ballet.”  
Alice smiled in response and started to talk with intention to end the meeting.  
“Well thank so much for your time Mr. Kent but I have leave now.” Glancing toward the clock and standing up she continued,  
“I will need to review the contract before I sign anything.” Kent followed her actions and stood up handing her the contract. He was slightly confused about the sudden rush. He disregarded it and shoved his hands inside his pockets before noticing she had extended her hand. He quickly removed his hands and reached up to meet hers.  
“Thank you for your time Miss Polanco.” They shook hands and Alice headed for the door.  
“Ah, Miss Polanco, one last question.” Alice stopped in her tracks and rolled her eyes before turning around.  
“Why the Black Swan?” he asked with real interest, Alice let a sly grin slide on her face.  
“Well Mr. Kent, the Black Swan stops at nothing to get her way, including killing the naïve White Swan.” She paused to shift the bags on her shoulder.  
“You see, the Black Swan has a passion that the White Swan can’t compete with. The White Swan is weak and innocent.” she shifted her bags once more.  
“And in the world we live in today, there’s no room for innocence anymore.” With that she turned and walked out the door completely ignoring the confused look that Kent plastered on his face.  
Alice was greeted by the fresh autumn air as she stepped outside of the theater building, leaves danced around her feet, and moon was bright in the sky. It was only 6:30pm but darkness had already covered the city. She inhaled deeply; she missed the smell of the Gothem in autumn. She started to walk down the streets making her way to the heart of the city where she and William lived.  
A young women walking alone in the dark was a rare sight for this city. However Gothem did not frighten the Alice, she knew what criminals in Gothem were capable of, she use to live with them.  
But as she neared an ally something struck her as odd, there was a white van blocking the sidewalk, leaving her with two options, walk in the busy street to go around it or in the dark ally. She chose the latter figuring that is was probably nothing and didn’t feel like getting hit by a car.  
She reassured herself as she neared the van that criminals didn’t come out to play until at least past eight. This eased her mind. But when she got close enough to smell the exhaust of the van she found herself gripping the pepper spray tightly in her P coat pocket.  
Alice held her head high and started to enter the ally way to go around the van. She was halfway around the vehicle when someone grabbed her arm roughly pulling her further into the ally. A gasp escaped her mouth when she found that she couldn’t scream.  
She instinctively yanked her arm away and kicked into the dark. To her luck she hit the assailant causing him to fall back on the ground. Before she could even turn to run away two guys grabbed her by each arm lifting her off the ground.  
They slammed her into a wall, one of them covered her mouth as just as Alice finally started to scream.  
“Shut up girl!” he man hissed intensifying the grip on her mouth. Alice by this had registered something odd about the first man she came in contact with, when she kicked him to the ground he laughed and giggled.  
Her blood ran cold as soon as her mind registered that the two men holding to the wall had clown masks on.  
Alice had seen her fair share of attacks and unfortunately witnessed a couple of gang rapes but. None of that scared her, but these men in clown masks made her paralyzed with fear. She started to whip her body all around attempting to loosen the grip the men had on her, she whimpered in pain as their grip tightened.  
The man she had kicked to the ground slowly stood up, he was tall and had a unique hunch to his back. Alice saw the figure shut her eyes tight attempting to break free again.  
Nothing was working, she found herself yet again unable to move due to the fear that was coursing through her body. The figure walked toward Alice, she opened her eyes as the man made his way to her. The dim street light revealed that he was wearing a purple suit covered in blood stains. As the figure stepped fully into the light Alice’s eyes widened in terror.  
The light shined on the man revealing his green curly hair that appeared to be wet with sweat, the light also revealed that the man was now inches away from Alice’s face. She trembled in fear as she noticed the dark black smudges around his eyes; it blended into the white that covered his face completely except his mouth. He was grinning wide as Alice tried to focus her on eyes on the face, but her eyes blurred with tears when she saw that the Cheshire grin on his face was permanent. A scar running up the sides of his cheek to the corner of his mouth was covered in a deep red. Alice wasn’t sure if it was more make up or blood.  
She heard the distinctive click of switchblade, she flinched as she felt the cold metal press against her cheek. The clown before her looked at the men holding her in place, with a nod of his head the two men let go.  
For the briefest second in history Alice felt the two men let her go, she closed her eyes thanking God, but before she could reopen her eyes she was slammed back to the wall by the make up covered clown. He held her back with more force alone then the other two guys combined. He pushed hard on her shoulders crushing her into the wall.  
“Well eh hello beautiful” the clown hissed through his smile. Alice felt a shiver run through her, he laughed loudly as he noticed her reaction to his simple greeting.  
Alice knew that she might not get out of this alive, but she took her chances and opened her mouth to speak  
“What do you want?” Alice hissed back spitting in his face. From her past experiences spitting in people’s faces had always made them back away in disgust, but the clown smiled sadistically and licked the spit off of his lips. This made Alice almost pass out, but she knew she had to hang on. She wasn’t go to be killed by some punk her first week back in Gothem.  
“Ah ta ta ta no need to get feisty doll, all I want is your name.” the way he spoke made Alice’s head sip, he sounded so nasally and he drew out every word. Out of pure panic and fear Alice shouted her name in the clowns face  
“Alice Rose Polanco!” Her eyes shut tightly as he removed her grip from her shoulders and replaced it with his forearm pressing up against neck making it hard for Alice to breath  
“See? That wasn’t so bad was it?” he snarled at her. The Cheshire clown was inches away from Alice’s face. Her nostrils filled with scent of blood, gun powder, and gasoline.  
Before she could protest the clown leaned forward and touched his cheek to hers whispering in her ear,  
“I’ll see you at the tea party, Alice”  
he laughed loudly in her ear. She snapped her eyes shut at the sound of her name coming from the clown’s mouth. But he had released her and was getting into the van before she could grab her throat and gasp for air. She heard the tires skid away and she sank down on the ground still leaning on the wall. She started to sob and hugged her knees tightly.  
In between her sobs she concluded that Gothem had changed since she left and so did she.


	2. The Pool of Tears

Alice sat on the ally ground hugging her knees tightly. Tears gently streamed down her cheeks as the cool autumn air blew around her. She stared blankly at the brick wall in front of her trying to gather her thoughts; she couldn’t believe what had happened just moments ago. She closed her eyes softly letting out an audible sigh, the clown’s face flashed in her mind like a streak of lightning, burning in her memory.

Alice slowly started to stand using the wall behind her as support. As she regained her footing she shook her head in attempt to shake his unforgettable face.

She reached into her pocket and grabbed her phone. Knowing that if she didn’t text William telling him she was going to be late he would have all of the Gothem police force looking for her. She silently debated to herself whether to tell Will what truly happened or make up a lie. She decided to lie to him knowing that she would only get herself into trouble if she told the truth. He had already warned her that Gothem had gotten worse and that he didn’t want her walking alone. With that in mind she sent him a simple message saying

“Hey hun, the interview ran late. On my way home now, love you!”

She placed her phone back in her pocket only to find that her phone wasn’t the only thing in there. She reached in and pulled out what seemed to be a playing card, the back of the card faced her revealing its ornate red and white design.  Her brows furrowed in confusion as she flipped the card over. A joker stared back at her.

Alice’s breath hitched when she realized how it got there. The clown must have put it in there when he was whispering in her ear. She shuddered at the thought of his face so close to hers. She could almost feel his scar pressed against her cheek again. Her hand shot up to her face in response to the memory.

The frightened girl slowly drew her hand away, Alice’s eyes widened in horror when she looked down at her palm.

Traces of white and red makeup looked back at her. She immediately used her coat to sleeve to rub the makeup off her cheek. She rubbed hard thinking that she could scrub away the unmistakable feeling of the clown’s scar off her face as well.

Alice looked around the dark ally and spotted her bags on the ground. She walked over and picked them up heading towards the entrance. She stepped on to the lit sidewalk and glanced left and right making sure the attackers weren’t hiding waiting for her to come out. Once she saw no one there she decided that it would be best to get a cab home.

As Alice hailed a cab and stepped in she couldn’t help but fear what was to come when she got home. She knew that William would not be happy with her tardiness but she could never imagine what was about to unravel.

She stared out the window as the sky scrapers of Gothem passed by in a neon blur. She let her head lean on the cold glass as she attempted to gather her thoughts. Alice was still clearly shaken up; however she couldn’t help but scold herself for being so weak.

She was use to certain people pushing her around and allowed it, but when it came to people she didn’t know she would never let them walk all over her. A wave of anger crashed into Alice, she would make it her duty never to let that clown touch her again without him receiving a new pair of scars. 

Despite her wishful avenging Alice reached into her pocket and pulled out the joker card. She flipped it back and forth in her hand trying to figure out what it meant. Yes he wore makeup like a clown or a “joker” and her attacker seemed to laugh a lot, but Alice was still puzzled as to why he had given her the card. Maybe it was his way of telling her it was a joke or maybe it was some sort of clue, but whatever the reason Alice disregarded it and shoved the card back into her pocket.

The cab slowed and pulled up to a simple yet elegant brownstone. Alice paid the driver and stepped out taking a deep breath as the car rolled away. She walked up to the front door with hesitation and shakily pulled out her keys. As she pushed open the door she was greeted by a strange silence.

She walked down the hallway that was lined with unpacked boxes and into the kitchen; she flipped the light switch on and jumped when she saw Will sitting at the bar with his head hunched over. An empty ten thousand dollar bottle of Macallan  1939  laid on its side next to him. He slowly lifted his head and placed his hand on the counter for support as he stood up and turned around.

“Where the hell have you been Alice.” He growled as he walked towards her with a deadly look in his eye.

“William, babe, I sent you text. The interview ran over.” Alice replied nervously as she slowly inched backwards trying to put distance between herself and the drunken man before her.

“You never learn do you?” Will asked mockingly as she backed straight into the granite countertop. William was inches away from Alice and his alcohol soaked breath surrounded her.

“YOU NEVER LEARN DO YOU?” He yelled at her with rage spilling from his eyes, Alice looked down wishing she was back in Italy with the man she fell in love with, not the abusive monster he had turned into.

“I’m sorry.” She uttered looking up into his eyes searching for a sliver of compassion, but all she found was pure disgust and anger.

“Sorry isn’t enough Alice.” He hissed and slapped her hard on the face. Alice let her head snap to the side in response to the hard smack. She could already feel hot tears slide down her stinging cheek as Will reached up and grabbed her chin harshly.

“You know, Alice, I was planning on having a nice dinner with my beautiful girlfriend, I even got us your favorite scotch. But you just had to go and ruin it.” He snarled gripping her chin harder, she winced in pain.

“You had to ruin it didn’t you.” He continued. William grabbed Alice her coat collar roughly and drew his other hand back in a fist. His hand collided with her fragile face hard causing Alice’s head to whip to the side.

The hurt girl let her head hang down in shame as she reached up to cradle her bleeding nose. She could feel the bruises throbbing in her face as her eyes welled up with tears once again.

“William I’m sorry!” she pleaded, tears mixed with the blood from her nose and gathered at her chin creating a hot glob. He responded with a scoff of disgust.

Will released Alice from his harsh grip and walked slowly backwards realizing what he had just done. A wave of reality washed over his clouded mind as he stared at the bleeding woman before him,

 “Alice… I, I, I’m so sorry.” He reached forward and gently cupped her red cheek, she flinched at his touch.

William had always had a short temper which made his work as Chief at Gothem Police Department hard, but it had also started to take effect on his relationship with Alice. He found himself always yelling at her and sometimes pushing her, but hitting her, hitting her was a whole different creature.

Alice turned her head away from him in response to his gentle touch; he got the hint and withdrew his hand. Without another word he turned around and walked away, he was out of sight when the slam of the bedroom door reverberated throughout the house.  

With William it was always hot and cold, one minute he would be the cookie cutter boyfriend and within the blink of an eye he turned into a controlling obsessive monster, especially when he drank. And Alice knew all this but she never thought it would turn into something this bad.

He had always protected her and cared for her greatly, he had honor and trust and his badge was proof of that, Will had this fatherly instinct that Alice was drawn to. Considering that William was the absolute opposite of her actual father. But within one night all of those great attributes diminished before Alice’s eyes.

She sank down to the tile floor holding her face as she sobbed silently. Hugging her knees tightly she rocked back and forth just like she had done an hour before only this time she was in her own home rather than a dark ally. Tears and blood slowly started to soak her knees, she felt sick to her stomach.

Alice steadily returned to her feet using the counter as support and walked to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror with pity. Will was the only human still alive that Alice cared about, but now she had no one. She no longer cared about that man, he had hurt her and in her eyes you don’t hurt the people you love.

She turned on the faucet and let the blood drip from her nose into the sink. The crimson liquid collided with the pure water creating a beautiful swirl that slowly slid into the drain; Alice stared at the sink transfixed by the bloody water.

She returned to her image in the mirror and tilted her head slightly; she stared into her own eyes deeply wondering what she did to deserve this life. This God awful life filled with nothing but lose and betrayal.  

Alice got in the shower and let the day’s events melt away under the scolding water, her mind was finally at ease despite getting attacked and getting hit by her boyfriend.

She stepped out of the steamy bathroom with a fluffy towel wrapped around her body and made her way to the kitchen to retrieve a large glass of wine, after all she deserved it. Alice strolled over to the living room and sat with a sigh on the large leather couch, she flipped on the oversized flat screen and mindlessly watched the evening news while drinking her wine.  

All of a sudden the commercial cut out and switched back over to the news, the words “breaking news” flashed across the screen in big red letters. The camera switched to a doe eyed reporter standing outside of what looked like an old hospital, she nodded her head and began to speak.

“Breaking news: We have just been notified moments ago that Gothem’s most wanted criminal has broken out of Arkham asylum once again.” The reporter motioned to the decrypted building behind her. “Police are urging all citizens to stay inside for the remainder of the night, if you see or know any information about the dangerous criminal please contact authorities immediately.” Alice by now had put her glass of wine down and turned up the TV staring at it with wide eyes. “I’m Kathryn Null reporting for GCN, thank you and stay safe.” The image of the reporter cut out and went back to the man behind a news desk.

“Wow, this is some alarming news, thank you Kathryn. Well folks please heed this warning; the man on the loose is very dangerous and most likely armed, this is also what seems to be his fifth time escaping Arkham. Once again if you see or know anything about this man please contact the police.”

A picture flashed on the screen that made Alice gasp loudly, it was a mug shot of a man wearing a green vest and a light purple hexagon patterned shirt. He had curly light brown-green hair and his face was painted haphazardly with white, black and red. A pair of Glasgow scars covered in red makeup marked his cheeks giving him the appearance of a chilling grin. He was smirking and raising his left eyebrow with his chin slightly down almost in a seductive way. The sign he was holding had a series of numbers at the top and underneath was his name, The Joker.

Alice’s heart thumped in her chest and a knot formed in her stomach upon recognizing the painted man.  She franticly got up and raced over to her coat that was lying on the bar, she reached in the pocket and retrieved the playing card. She looked over at the TV and down back at the card slowly connecting the dots in her head.

She had a run in with Gothem’s most dangerous criminal and he gave her his calling card? So many questions raced through her mind. Why did he attack her? Why didn’t he hurt her? And most of all, why the hell did he want to know her name?

Alice walked back over to the couch and slumped down gripping the card. She took a big gulp of wine and let her head fall backwards leaving her to stare at the ceiling blankly. The news droned on about the Joker’s crime spree and replayed the breaking news clip. She lifted her head up with a sigh, grabbed the remote, and turned the TV off.

She had had enough _mad_ men for the night.  


	3. 6 Possible Things Before Breakfast

The crackle of bacon and the smell of freshly brewed coffee gently woke Alice from her restless sleep, her eyelids fluttered open and she sat up with a small yawn. The first thing she noticed was that she had fallen asleep in her towel, the second was that she was on the couch, thirdly she found herself still gripping the joker card.

Disappointment flushed over Alice as she remembered that last night wasn’t a nightmare.

She reached forward and placed the card in her purse with a sigh before getting up and walking to the kitchen. She was greeted by the sight of William leaning over the stove stirring eggs and flipping bacon. He was still in his pj’s and his hair was slightly messy.

“Hey babe!” Will said while glancing at Alice flashing a wide smile. Taken aback by his happiness Alice gave him a confused look.

“Uh hey” she replied, as if asking a question. Will ignored her dry tone and walked over to her; he grabbed her head gently and placed a kiss on her forehead. Alice’s brows furrowed with confusion at the loving gesture. Had he not remembered last night? Had he not recalled punching her in the face?

“You have a big day today so I made you breakfast and your lunch.” Will stated proudly while returning to the stove. Alice strained to remember what she had to do today; she was still trying to process last night. Will interrupted her thinking,

“Your first day at Gotham City Ballet is today…ring any bells?” he asked her with a smirk.

“Oh shit!” Alice said remembering that she still hadn’t signed the contract. She raced out of the kitchen without a word and grabbed her purse from the living room table. She pulled out the official looking papers and scanned them fast before sloppily signing her name. She shoved the papers back in her purse and looked at the clock. It read 9:00am, class started at 9:30 and the theater was 15 minutes away.

With this in mind Alice ran to the bedroom and let her towel fall to the floor as she rummaged through boxes trying to find her dance clothing. She ripped open a box and to her luck a pile of neatly folded leotards stared back at her. She grabbed the first one and put it on without a second thought. She reached further into the box and pulled out a pair of tights. As she put her legs into the constricting fabric she noticed a few small runs, it would have to do, she didn’t have time to find an un-ripped pair.   

She rushed into the bathroom and opened drawers wildly trying to find hair pins. A triumphant smile slid onto Alice’s face as she found a fresh package. She started to rip the package open and froze when she saw her reflection in the mirror.

Hints of black and blue encompassed her left eye and cheek. Alice dropped the hair pins and touched the tender bruise. Tears welled up in her eyes; she couldn’t help but feel sorry for herself. After all, the only person she loved did that to her.

Alice let the hot tears slide down her cheeks as distant memories of her family filled her mind. She still couldn’t comprehend that Will was all she had left. Well technically she had her only living blood relative, Uncle Jervis, but he was in Arkham for reasons Alice didn’t know about. But upon last night’s events she realized that she didn’t even have William.  And to make it all worse Alice noticed that her leotard was the Joker’s shade of purple.

She wiped the tears away and collected the fallen pins before messily putting her hair into a bun. As she walked out of the bathroom she glanced at the clock, 9:10. She still had 5 minutes. Alice slipped on a sweater and leggings over her dance attire and rushed back downstairs.

She walked into the kitchen and fixed herself a to-go cup of coffee while trying to avoid William. Her efforts were in vein when he came up and hugged her from behind. He nuzzled his face into her neck breathing in her warm vanilla scent. Alice responded by nudging her shoulders and shaking him off. His once comforting touch now sickened her.

William stepped back and looked down to the floor before glancing back at Alice. Anger filled him; she had no right to reject him after he made a whole breakfast just for her. Or so he thought.

Sensing the change in mood Alice turned around and flashed a sweet simile. She stepped to him and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. Even though it made her sick Alice leaned in further and pressed her lips against his. He responded by pulling her closer and grabbing the back of her neck. Alice felt rage rumble within her but she decided that sacrificing a kiss was better than another black eye.

She pulled away with a forced smile, “I gotta’ go, love you babe”.

Will responded with a grin as she dashed out of the kitchen and to the front door picking up her bags as she went.

Alice burst through the stage door of the theater and ran though the narrow corridors. She raced up a flight of stairs and through a dim lit hallway before reaching her destination. She slammed open a large metal door and stumbled into a big bright studio. She froze when she noticed the other 30 dancers staring at her; she smiled nervously and looked around the room. She spotted David Kent, the director; he stood up from his seat upon her arrival and chuckled to himself before opening his mouth to speak.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is the esteemed Alice Rose Polanco.” He gestured towards her as all the other dancers began to clap and smile. Alice blushed and smiled back at David.

“I want you all to make Alice feel at home,” he spoke in direction to the other dancers, “It’s an honor to have her here. Now Please resume class while I have a word with Alice.” The pianist cleared his throat and started to play a simple melody. The dancers responded by taking their place at the barre and stretching to the music.

David made his way over to Alice with a concerned look on his face. He ushered her out the door and down the hall way into his office. He took his place behind his desk as Alice sat in front of him.

“Dear God, what happened Alice?” he motioned to her eye with concern.

“Oh it’s nothing, clumsy me I ran into a cabinet.” She responded nervously.

“Well as long as your okay”, David said while shifting in his seat. “Now I wanted to talk to you about tonight, as you know it’s our debut performance of Swan Lake and we have a lot of important people watching. But unfortunately our Swan Queen called me this morning saying she was throwing up and doesn’t think she can perform.”

“That’s awful Mr. Kent is she okay?” Alice replied with genuine concern.

“Yeah she’s fine, food poisoning is a bitch, but I’m going to cut right to the chase Alice, would you be able to perform as Swan Queen, tonight.”

“Wow um, I don’t know what to say...”

“Say yes Alice, I know you know the roll and frankly I have total faith you would perform it better than her.” David reached his hand out across the desk. Alice returned the gesture and placed her hand and in his.

So many things were running through her head. Of course she wanted to say yes but after last night’s traumatic experiences she questioned if she was in any state to perform, let alone in front of an important audience. She would have ten hours to prepare, she already knew the choreography but she would need to still rehearse. Alice looked down at their interlocked hands and then met David’s cool grey eyes,

“Yes. I’ll do it. I would be honored.”

“YES ALICE I KNEW YOU WOULD SAY YES!” David practically jumped out of his chair with excitement. They both stood up and David maneuvered his way around the desk and hugged Alice tightly. He pulled away and started talking fast,

“Okay so what scenes do you feel like you need the most work on, and you need to meet your prince, oh and don’t let me forget to have you try the costumes on!” he ushered her out of the office quickly before she could respond.

~~

It was five minutes until curtain and Alice was back stage putting rosin on her pointe shoes. She crushed the little crystals with her shoes in hope of not slipping on stage. She could feel the nerves settle in her stomach as she heard the humming chatter of the audience. The other dancers were backstage preparing as well, some keeping to themselves and others nervously talking.

Alice tried to keep to herself as well but she couldn’t help but over hear some of the gossip.

“Did you see that Alice girl is she even good?” A swan whispered to another, the other chimed in,

“Yeah she’s been all over the news; I can’t believe she came back after what happened to her, mmm such a pity.” Alice glanced over at the gossiping swans only long enough to listen in on the conversation next to her.

“I heard that Gotham’s playboy is here”, a young swan giggled. The other dancer next to her mockingly gasped,

“Oh my, Bruce Wayne!”

Alice froze when she heard that name. Suddenly memories from her not so distant childhood came flooding back, memories of her and her best friend Bruce.

_“Alice, I’m gonna’ find you!” Bruce yelled into the dark._

_“Not unless I find you first Brucey boy.” Alice responded before bumping into a tall figure._

_“Ha, I found you first Alice, now give me my birthday present! A guy can only be 16 for so long you know.”_

_“Fine you really want your present?” Alice asked slowly inching towards Bruce._

_“Yes Alice come on alrea-“, Bruce was cut off as Alice’s lips locked around his. He kissed her back roughly, their mouths moving together as one. They got lost in each other._

Alice shuddered at the memory, Alice was his first love. Now he was Gotham’s ‘playboy’? She hadn’t heard from Bruce since she ran away, she had hoped he would run after her but he never did. For all she knew he could have been dead and she wouldn’t have ever known. Now she was about to perform for him?

The nerves in her stomach started to stir again as applause reached her ears, it was followed by the familiar click and tug of the curtain opening.

Alice pushed all thoughts out of her head, took a deep breath and stepped onto the stage gracefully.

The heat from the stage lights warmed Alice as she started to dance to the iconic Swan Lake theme. Dancing was Alice’s only escape, she let herself melt away with every beautiful step. The delicate white feathers that adorned her head and bodice shimmered slightly in the light creating an ethereal look. She seemed to float around the stage enchanting the audience. She felt a rush of euphoria come over her; this was her only release and loved every second of it.  

Alice soaked in the applause when she bowed initiating the end of act one. The red curtain closed as people stood to their feet providing a standing ovation. Alice rushed off the stage and through the wings rushing to the dressing room to change for act two. Little did she know all hell was about to break loose.

She stepped into the dressing room and started to carefully apply black makeup to her eyes in a winged out fashion, she then replaced her pale pink lips with a vampy red. She studied her reflection in the mirror. The black swan stared back at her; all she needed to do now was put on the black tutu.

A few blocks away the Joker sat in the passenger seat of a speeding van while he loaded bullets into his silver revolver. Tonight was the night; tonight he was going to take back his city and make things ‘right’.

As the clown pulled on his purple leather gloves thoughts of the brown eyed Alice danced in his head. The moment he saw that Alice had returned to Gotham he knew exactly who she was, she was not the victim of her brother’s insanity like everyone thought. No, she was the victim of her uncle’s insanity, Jervis Tetch, otherwise known as The Mad Hatter.

The Joker had gotten to know Jervis very well when he was in Arkham, but he knew him long before that. They had met when the Joker was only 15, before he had the scars before his innocence was stripped from him. All it took was one day, one bad day. He had successfully repressed the memories from that night for years. So well he had forgotten what actually happened. But as soon as he saw Alice all over news all the memories came flooding back. It was like her face alone was the detonator to ticking time bomb just waiting to go off.

_“You know my little Knave of Hearts, you remind me of my niece, Alice.” The Mad Hatter caressed the cowering boy’s cheek. “I see myself in her, and I see myself in you.”_

The Joker was halted back into reality as the van skidded to a harsh stop in front of theater. His head smacked the dash board hard leaving him slightly dizzy. He sat back up and glared at the goon in the driver’s seat, without a second thought he put the gun up to the drivers head and pulled the trigger. Blood spattered everywhere and goon was slumped over the steering wheel.

“That’s what ya get for driving reckless.” He broke into a manic fit of laughter while the other goons in the back seat stared at him with fear. Turning back to them he licked his lips and cracked his neck side to side,

“Alright boys lets go, we can’t be late for _tea.”_


	4. The Show Must Go On

Alice unclasped the hooks and eyes that lined the back of her ornate white tutu. She peeled off the bodice and slowly stepped out of the costume leaving her topless with just tights. She placed the tutu on its rack and reached for the black one. She hesitated before putting it on and just looked at herself in the mirror. Why did she come back to Gotham, nothing good happened here and she knew it. But she still had a glimmer of hope, a hope that something good would come out of returning to this awful city she once called home. Despite that she was frustrated and angry, not only with herself but also the things she had no control over.

A sudden urge came over Alice and she reached an arm behind her neck digging her nails in deep. She started to slowly drag them across her shoulder blade ripping the skin leaving tiny shreds of blood in her wake. She just stared at herself in the mirror as she relentlessly scratched her back over and over re opening the tiny scars that had faded over the years. She hadn’t hurt herself like this since her parents died but she needed it, after all she couldn’t save her parents and now she couldn’t save herself.

Alice withdrew her hand and wiped the blood on her back away with a tissue. She then proceeded to put on the black tutu as if nothing happened, pulling the straps over her stinging shoulders, hoping the audience wouldn’t see the scratches from the stage.  She looked to mirror once more as if justifying what she had done.  

Her stare broke when she heard the soft melodies of violins and oboes; she dusted her face with white powder and made her way up to the stage. As she walked through the dark hallways she let her mind slip into a place she didn’t go very often, a place that was made of nothing but pure darkness and tragedy. She would only let herself access this part of her mind when she had to, and being the Black Swan called for that.

She waited in the wings staring blankly at the blue lit stage. The dancers moved together as one creating hypnotizing patterns, a kaleidoscope of swans. Together all the swans moved to one knee lifting there arm like a wing signaling the entrance of the Black Swan, Alice quickly scratched her back once more and stepped out onto the stage with a devious smile and piercing eyes.

The audience responded with a sea of applause as Alice graced the stage taking her place in the center. Two men gave a standing ovation at the mere entrance of the Black Swan, of course the two men were William and his dear friend Bruce. As she started to dance the iconic solo the men sat down,

“Wow William I have to say you really got yourself quite a catch.” Bruce said staring at the beautiful women on stage. “She is breathtaking.”

“Thanks Bruce, she really is something else.” Will said in response.

“What is her name?” Bruce asked still transfixed on the dancing swan.

“Alice, Alice Rose Polanco. I’m sure you’ve heard of her, she was the daughter of Vinny Polanco, the mobster. Shes been through hell and back, I mean for god’s sake her brother murdered her parents, in front of her! Shes been all over the news since she came back from Italy with me, but hey I forgot you don’t watch the news.”

Bruce’s lips parted upon hearing her name, of course he knew who she was, she was the only girl he loved before Rachel. He looked at Will and then back to the stage with unbelief, the last time he saw Alice was the day her parents died, after that he never heard from her again. He knew everything that happened that dreadful night; he even knew why Peter did what he did. He knew that Alice had to leave and he knew that telling her the things she didn’t know would only hurt her more. So Bruce did the only thing he could do, he let her go.

Assuming that William didn’t know about him and Alice, Bruce looked back at his friend and said,

“Well even though I don’t know who she is I can tell that you are a lucky man.” He patted Will on the back and returned his gaze back to Alice as she moved across the stage with grace and precision.

 

The Joker stepped out of the van, gun in hand, and moved towards the entrance of the theater swiftly. Another van pulled up and about five other henchmen stepped out, they followed the purple clad clown cocking their guns and lowering their disturbing clown masks. The Joker shot down the glass doors of the lobby making the security guards reach for their guns, they were killed before their hands could reach the holsters.  

The gang of armed clowns made their way through the lobby and burst through the theater doors shooting rapidly at the ceiling making their entrance known. The audience turned around and shrieked in terror as henchmen grabbed hostages placing smoke grenades in their mouths. The orchestra halted and the dancers on stage ran for the wings, Alice froze in her place recognizing the ring leader from a distance. An alarmingly loud shot gun pierced the air silencing all the commotion. The Joker slowly walked up the aisle leading to the stage pointing his gun at helpless people as he went.  

“Good evening ladies and eh gentle-men, I have come to collect my white rabbit. Or in this case my eh _Black Swan.”_ The Joker leapt on stage and moved towards Alice who was frozen in fear, still standing like a dancer. People in the audience gasped and looked to the stage with unbelief. Bruce and William stood up and started making their way to the stage to get Alice, but before they could get close they were stopped by two goons holding guns to their backs. They each lifted their hands up in response.

The Joker’s shoes clacked against the stage as he circled the frozen Alice, his eyes moved up and down her body slowly like an animal stalking his pry.

“My my look at you all dolled up.” He said letting the corners of his mouth tilt upwards. Alice shot him a look of pure disgust. He was standing behind her now, too close for comfort. The Joker noticed the fresh gashes and simply reached his hand up and traced them with his gloved fingers.  She shuddered at his touch, her back stinging with every stroke.

 She turned around to face him. He grabbed her chin roughly with one gloved hand and forcefully turned her face side to side inspecting the bird like makeup. Alice could feel her heart sink as she breathed in his vile scent.

The Joker let his thumb drift over her deep red lips, he could feel her hot breath through his gloved finger. He pressed his thumb down hard and moved it left and right smearing the lipstick into a smile, just like his. Alice tried to squirm free from his touch, but the clown’s grip tightened intensely holding her head in place.

“There, that’s better.” The Joker said with a deep husky voice and a sinister smile; he tilted his head back as if admiring a work of art.

Alice felt so violated, how dare he touch her like that. She recalled the vow she made to herself the other night in the cab, the one where she would never let that ‘punk’ touch her again without giving him a new pair of scars. But upon realizing that he was the most dangerous man in Gotham she concluded that if she tried to hurt him she would be the one getting scars.

“Don’t fucking touch her!” Will shouted while trying to break loose of the henchmen’s grip. He was unsuccessful and the goon hit him over the head with the butt of his gun rendering Will unconscious. The Joker looked in their direction glaring at the goon as if demanding an answer, the masked henchmen shrugged his shoulders,

“Sorry boss but he was getting away!”

The Joker rolled his eyes and returned his gaze back to the trembling girl in front of him. He looked deep into her amber orbs and fiendishly licked his branded lips,

“You wanna know how I got these scars?” He nodded his head as if answering for her. “My mother…” his voice trailed off and he glanced left and right as if looking for an answer. He bit the inside of his cheek and looked back at Alice noticing something different about the girl. She looked intrigued, almost mesmerized, her eyes silently begging for him to continue speaking. She wanted to know how he got those grisly scars ever since the moment she saw him, ever since she felt them on her own cheek.

“Ehhh nevermind, we’ll save that for another day, we’re on a tight schedule.” The Joker said while looking at the imaginary watch on his wrist. He then changed his grip on Alice; he stepped behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, pushing her to walk forward. He guided her off the stage and into the audience where she watched helplessly as the goons started to pull the pins on the grenades.

As they walked passed Bruce Alice silently pleaded with him, telling him to come after her this time, telling him to save her. The Joker noticed the girl eyeing Bruce and grabbed her harder, pushing her past him.  The two made it out into the lobby where all the goons gathered behind them as if waiting for instructions, with a nod of his head the goons exited the rigged theater leaving Alice and the Joker just standing there.

Alice’s hart was racing, she was starting to sweat with fear, and she wanted to fight back so bad but was so terrified. This was not like Alice, usually she wouldn’t go down without a fight, kicking and screaming to the last second. Something in her changed, almost like carelessness, almost like she didn’t care if he took her and killed her. At this point who would blame her, the only person she had left was her abusive boyfriend Will. But she remembered suddenly she still had Bruce. After all these years she only hoped that he would remember and that small hope was worth fighting for.

 With that she turned around fast and slammed her fist into the Joker’s jaw causing him to step back. He laughed as he rubbed his chin slightly smearing his makeup,

“You got a little fight in you, _I like that.”_

Alice then charged at him again attempting to kick him in the stomach, he caught her leg mid air causing her to fall hard on the lobby floor. She tried to get up but her pointe shoes couldn’t grip the shiny granite, she scooted back as the Joker hovered over her smirking. He grabbed her by the bun and slammed her head into the floor causing her to scream in pain. She went limp and allowed herself to surrender; he then picked her up cradling her and walked out the shattered doors.

The van door opened and he carelessly threw her in, he got in after her and slammed the door shut. Alice noticed the change in her surroundings and looked around franticly for a way out, she was trapped. A goon was blocking the door on her left and the Joker was to her right. She started breathing heavily as the reality of her situation kicked in; she was being kidnapped by the most feared man in Gotham. The clown prince of crime noticed her uneasy breathing and looked at her; he patted her face roughly,

“ShhhSHHShhh don’t be so nervous Alice, everything will be alllllright.” He broke into a hysteric fit of laughter and clasped his hand around her tiny throat. “Look at me.” Alice shut her eyes tight in response.

“LOOK AT ME.” She opened her eyes at the sudden change in voice, it sounded like the gates of hell were being released through his throat, she turned and looked at him with horror. He licked his lips and smiled while slowly tightening the grip around her airway. The darkness closed in on her eyes and the last thing she saw was his Cheshire grin before slipping into unconsciousness.   


	5. Clean Clothes

Chapter 5

Alice woke to the rhythmic sound of water dripping slowly on cement. She smelt mildew and mold; she could feel the cold ground against her almost bare legs. She was sitting on the floor with her back hunched leaning on the cinder brick wall. She was still in her costume, her tights had rips and runs all over the knees, like she had been dragged. Her black eye liner was smeared and her red lips had been faded leaving behind dry chapped skin. She opened her eyes and looked around the dark room, a single light bulb hung from the ceiling flickering ever so slightly creating a dim atmosphere. She was in what seemed like a furnace room, except all the utilities were gone and they only things left behind were dripping pipes and rusty stains.  

The back of her head felt as though someone smashed it with a brick, creating a throbbing sensation almost like her brain was pressed against her skull begging to get out. She reached her hands up instinctively to rub the pain away but they were stopped short by the rope that bound them together. She noticed that nothing was tying her to the ground though, so she stood up uneasily trying to regain her sense of balance and feeling. To her surprise her body suffered no other damage then the scrapes on her knees and her pounding head. She wiggled her fingers and hands the best she could to see if she had broken anything, again all was fine.

Although Alice suffered no drastic physical damage but her mind was in a million pieces and her heart was racing, she knew very well what had happened. She had been kidnapped by the Joker. She blinked hard attempting to focus and gather her thoughts; she looked around the room scanning for a window or door. Her eyes locked with a door knob that was a couple feet away, stumbling towards it she reached out her bound hands and prayed for it to be unlocked. The cold metal met her sweaty palms as she started to turn it slowly, she closed her eyes hoping that it would turn completely and open, but her hopes had failed and the knob stopped turning, it was locked. She shook the knob violently and banged on the door with fury. Why was this happening to her, what did she do to deserve this? She sunk down to the cold floor and let the hot salty tears slide down her face.

When Alice was younger, before her parents passed, she would always imagine how she would die. She hoped that it would be dramatic and beautiful and tragic. She didn’t want to die an old hag; she wanted to die with mystery. Little Alice was always so fascinated by death, murder in particular, it intrigued her that she or anyone else within a matter of seconds could be a memory. She would watch documentaries about serial killers and read books about what made people do the awful things they’d do. She had dreamed of working at Arkham and becoming a psychologist for the criminally insane, but often times she found it hard to differentiate between wanting to help ‘cure’ murderers or become one.  Alice voiced these opinions hoping people would connect with her but all it got her was a psychiatrist and a prescription for anti-depressants. Even her own father, mobster of Gotham, found her morbid thoughts to be concerning. But that all changed when she saw what she had dreamed about for so many years happen right in front of her eyes, at the fault of her brother. After her parents murder she had decided to bury her dark thoughts forever, she pushed her hopes of becoming a psychologist so deep down she never thought of it again. She made a new personality for herself and ran as far as she could leaving the “old” Alice behind to rot in Gotham.

Alice pondered all of this while looking around the room and wondered if this was it, if this was going to be her “tragic and mysterious” death. Sure no one would find her for days, maybe even weeks but eventually they would. The old Alice would have been honored to be taken hostage by Gotham’s most dangerous criminal and to die in this decrepit place, but this Alice was scared and terrified of her likely outcome.

 All of a sudden Alice heard loud footsteps nearing the door; she scrambled to her feet and ran back to the spot she woke up in trying her best to fake unconsciousness. The large metal door swung open letting light bleed in the dark room and a tall figure stood there creating an ominous shadow on the cement floor. The door slammed shut and the footsteps neared Alice, the familiar clacking made her breathing halt. She could sense his presence as the figure stood in front her and crouched down to her level. He reached out his hand and lightly patted her face making Alice jump inside.

“C’mon wake up. Wake up wake up wake up.” He said almost in a whisper.

Alice let her eyes gently open, the scared clown was inches away from her face and she could feel his breathing on her lips. Her eyes widened in horror at the sight of him which sent the man into a manic state of laughter. Alice just looked at him dumbfounded, she was confused as to why her simple reaction made him laugh so hard. Why was she even here, what the hell did he want from her?

Alice struggled to think of any reason why the Joker took her, the only one that came to mind was William, after all he was making his way up the ladder in the police department and he had friends in high political places. ‘Yes’ Alice thought to herself William was the reason for her abduction.

The clown’s laughter turned into a giggle and Alice kept her gaze on him hoping he would stop so she could speak.

“You look like you got something to say beautiful.” He said making his laughing come to a halt, he raised his eyebrow and tilted his chin down waiting for an answer.   

Alice cleared her dry throat, “Whatever you want from William he’ll give it to you, just let me go. He’ll do anything to have me back trust me.  He’s probably already put out a search team.”

The Joker furrowed his brow in confusion, who the hell was she talking about.

“And who might this ‘Will’ fellow be.” He said flatly.

“My boyfriend.” Alice responded with pride. He looked her up and down and noticed the black eye she had hidden so well with stage makeup.

“And I’m just going to assume he did that to you mmm?” The Joker asked motioning to her eye. Her gaze fell to the floor and questioned if she should even try to lie,

“yeah.” She said softly. He responded with a giggle,

“And you think he’s going to save you? That’s the best joke I’ve heard all day. No I don’t want anything from your little eh boyfriend. No he can’t help you.” He stated matter a factly.

Upon hearing this Alice got angry, “Then what the hell do you want from me?” she said with dagger like eyes. He equally met her furious gaze and withdrew his switch blade from his coat pocket. It opened with a ‘click’. He pressed the sharp knife up to her throat daring himself to press harder and let her warm blood drip over his gloved hand like he had dreamed of for so long.

Alice froze when the metal made contact with her delicate skin, she could feel it pinching at her neck just waiting to be dragged across.

“What do _I_ want from _you_?” He let out a harsh giggle and Alice squirmed under the knife, “You’ll see soon enough.”

He drew the knife away and Alice let out a sigh of relief, she then realized from this position she could easily kick him in the face, and she would might have a chance of escaping through the now unlocked door.

Before she could think twice she shot her leg up and kicked him as hard as she possibly could right in the face. He fell backwards and gripped his nose trying to subside the immediate bleeding while Alice was standing up making a dash for the door. She was so close to the knob when she felt him grab her ankle and pull her down to the ground. She landed on the cement hard causing her to groan in agony. She clearly underestimated the clown’s tolerance for pain.

The Joker stood up and spat the blood out from his mouth. He cracked his neck side to side and walked over to Alice who was still on the floor face down gripping her forehead in pain. 

“You shouldn’t have done that Alice.” He hissed. He then kicked her hard in the ribs causing her to ball up in defense, he rolled her over to her back and he stood over her with a chilling grin. Alice closed her eyes tightly, too afraid to look at the man standing before her.

“You should keep your feet to yourself next time hmm?” He glared at her and slammed his foot down on her crushed ribs making her scream out. She started violently sobbing due to the pain and he pushed his foot down harder in attempt to silence her annoying screams.  

When that didn’t work he removed his foot and grabbed her by the neck making her stand up. Once on her feet he shoved her into a wall causing that back of her head to hit the cinder blocks hard. Alice whimpered as the grip around her neck tightened. She did the best she could to claw at his arm with her tied hands only making him respond by grabbing her tighter. She was starting to lose her air and her eyes were turning bloodshot, the Joker just looked at her with a sadistic smile and tilted his head.

If he held her neck for 30 more seconds she would be dead, she would be a lifeless body in his arms. He craved to feel her life slip between his fingers, to see the light die in her eyes. But what would be the point? She would be dead and it wouldn’t solve anything. If he killed her now his whole plan would fall to pieces.

He had to keep her alive a little longer, he had to break her, make her realize that that she had nothing. In a better sense bring her down to his level. But this was no Harvey Dent, no, he wasn’t trying to prove anything to Gotham or to Batman, this was personal. He needed to show her that all it takes is one bad day. One bad day to reduce the sanest person alive to lunacy*, but the difference between him and her was that she already had her bad day, her past just needed to catch up with her. And he was going to do everything in his power to make that happen.

Realizing all of this the Joker released Alice from his deathly grip and let her fall to the ground, she held her throat and gasped for air.  Once again he crouched down and met her gaze.

“Listen Alice when you stop your ah pathetic sobbing, why don’t you get yourself cleaned up hm? You look like a mess. The bathroom is down the hall and to the right.” He reached for her hands and she instinctively pulled them away unsure of what he was going to do.

“I was going to untie you but fine have it your way.” He started to stand up and Alice tried to speak with all her might.

“Wait” she croaked. “Please…” She held up her hands and coughed violently.

“I’m sorry what was that, I couldn’t hear you.” The Joker laughed.

“Please…untie me.” She rasped. He rolled his eyes and bent down taking her by the hands roughly. He pulled a box opener out of his pants pocket and sliced through the rope nicking her wrists slightly.

“Oops my bad HAHAHA” The Joker sauntered out the door leaving Alice on the floor with the cut rope in her lap.  She blinked quickly finding it hard to believe that she was still alive, she was so confused, what did he mean she’ll see soon enough. What did he want from her? She stayed seated on the floor and questioned whether to take the clown’s advice and ‘clean up’. She figured she wasn’t going anywhere any time soon considering that the Joker had given her free range over the building, if she tried to escape she would surly get caught. She decided that she didn’t want any more broken ribs and made the decision to follow his suggestion.

She slowly got up from the cold ground gripping her ribs tightly trying to reduce the pain. She could barely stand let alone walk without sharp pain piercing her ribs, the ten foot walk to alleged bathroom was going to be hard. She cautiously put one foot in front of the other trying to focus on not doubling over in agony, she reached the door frame and hugged it tightly looking into the bright hallway glancing left and right. It looked like an abandon office building of sorts. The hallway was carpet and cheap florescent lights flickered randomly.

She stepped out into the hallway and stayed close to the wall leaning against it for support. She hobbled past three doors on the left, one of which looked like a make shift living room. To her surprise about five men were gathered around a TV casually drinking beer and having conversation, none of them seemed to notice the limping ballerina.

She stopped at her first door on the right and pushed it open, she continued into the three stall bathroom noticing a small square shower at the end. She made her way over to the shower passing the stalls and the large mirror as she went. At the last stall she stopped and looked in the mirror. She looked like hell. All her makeup was smudged, her black eye was showing, her tights were bloody and ripped, and her eyes were blood shot. She sighed at her disgruntled reflection and turned to the small shower. She pulled back the curtain and turned on the water to as hot as it could go.

She glanced in the direction of the door before slowly peeling off the ruined black tutu and tights, she breathed in the thick steam as she undid her tight bun letting her golden brown locks fall down just above her hips. She stepped into the shower and closed the curtain, the hot water hit her body and sigh of relief left her chapped lips.

Alice turned in the shower letting the comforting water cascade down her back and hair; she noticed a small unmarked bottle filled with a beige creamy liquid, curiously she held the bottle up to her nose and inhaled. She furrowed her brows at the familiar warm vanilla scent, it smelt like the body wash she had just used this morning. Deciding not to think anything of it she poured it out onto her hands and lathered it all over body paying close attention to her bruised ribs. After rinsing herself completely Alice shut the water off and stepped out of the shower, she noticed that a towel and a pile of what looked like to be folded clothes were sitting on the floor.

She glanced at the door with confusion and picked up the towel wrapping it around her body tightly. She crouched down to get a closer look at the clothing and noticed a folded yellow paper resting on top. Alice opened the note it read the sloppy writing,

 _‘Put these on and meet me in the “living room” I have a surprise – J’_ She tossed the note to the side and picked up each article of clothing. She first held up a black bra that was oddly enough her size, then she held up a matching thong which made her cheeks blush with embarrassment. She unfolded a pair of black skinny jeans and a dark purple v-neck shirt, how fitting. She scoffed at the color and dried herself off with the towel that was provided, she then put each item of clothing on and looked at the completed outfit in the mirror.

Alice didn’t look so bad for just being abducted, frankly the dark purple suited her and the jeans hugged her in all the right places. She reached under the sink to retrieve the green socks and black combat boots and put them on her feet with ease.

She walked out of the still steamy bathroom and made her way down the hallway to the make shift living room. She reached the now closed door and knocked on it figuring that it was the polite thing to do.

“Comeeeee innnn!” the Joker sang. Alice opened the door and stopped dead in her tracks eyeing the terrifying sight before her. The Joker outstretched both arms and grinned wildly,

“TADAAA.”


	6. Chapter 6

Alice was greeted by the sight of the Joker standing triumphantly over what seemed to be an older man lying on his stomach. He was covered in blood, bruises, and torn flesh making his skin color unrecognizable. She just stared at the limp body on the floor then back to the Joker who was now admiring his own handy work as well.

“I present to you Chet Sefton, father of a 14 year old girl and 11 year old boy.” He motioned dramatically at the man on the floor who groaned out in response. “Now before you go asking silly questions, no I did not kill him, not yet. That’s going to be _your_ job. It’s quite simple Alice, kill this man and I won’t, but if you don’t kill him then I will, either way he’ll end up dead. But hey that’s life!”

Alice struggled to find any clear reasoning behind the Jokers commands other than pure insanity; after all he had presented her with the task of killing a random man, who had a family, for no given reason. If this was his idea of a surprise it was surely sick and demented.

On the other hand the Joker knew precisely why he had presented Alice with such a task, he knew that she would refuse to kill an innocent man especially with a family. This meant that he was going to kill Chet, which also meant Alice was going to witness it. And that’s exactly what the Joker wanted to happen.

He had this way about knowing what made people break, he just knew exactly what buttons to push. Back in Arkham he would have to get a new therapist every week because each doctor he came in contact with would end up being the ones who needed therapy more. He would just strip them so emotionally and unnerve them so much they would often quit on the spot. This manipulation came so easy to him and he used it as a weapon, a weapon against all the doctors at Arkham and now against Alice.  The Joker knew that the moment Alice saw this “family man” die right in front of her eyes it would trigger the disturbing memories of her own parents death. This resulting in a very unstable Alice, which is right where the Joker wanted her.

At first Alice didn’t know how to respond to his outrageous request but seeing that her previous sardonic responses had gotten her this far, a new outfit and hot shower far, she took her chances and blurted out blandly, “why?”

The Joker ran his tongue over his scars and cocked his head while squinting his eyes, “ _Whyyy?_ Well for starters because I can and because _youuu_ can. I know you can do it, I have faith in you”, he laughed at himself, “if I recall murder runs in the family?” He broke into a raspy rumble of giggles and waited for her response.

His words hit Alice hard. How could he talk to her and just spit out personal information about her when they had only met in an ally way two days prior. He addressed her as if the two had known each other for their whole lives, this unnerved Alice and made her stomach churn with fear. On top of his demeaning way of words, it also stuck her odd that he would give her a change of clothes and a hot shower, she had only been captive for at least five hours and he was already favoring her? He could kill her at any moment and she didn’t doubt that at all, but she was just so perplexed as to why he didn’t.

She was smart enough to know that she played a part in a grander scheme and she would only understand it if she played along, and if playing along meant saving her life then she would risk it. Even though Alice’s life was not ideal and she thought that she had nothing, her survival instinct was a strong force to be reckoned with and no amount of self debate could stop it from doing its job. It had always been like that, if it had not Alice would have probably offed herself the night her parents died, in fact she would have done it several times after that as well. But something always tugged at her to push a little further and keep going when everything around her told her to stop.

“So you want me to kill this innocent man, who has kids, just because I have the ability to?!” Alice said with a hint of fear and exasperation in her voice.

  “Yeah.” The clown said casually.

“You’re crazy! I am not going to kill him!”

“I’m not crazy. No I’m not.” His tone darkened which made Alice’s heart sink to the bottom of her chest.

“You know you gotta do everything yourself these days, don’t you, but good thing I came prepared*.”

Before Alice could blink the Joker retrieved a silver revolver from his coat and pressed it to the back of the bloody man’s head. He looked up at Alice catching her gaze and as he stared straight into her eyes he pulled the trigger.

A pool of warm crimson liquid slowly seeped onto the floor as the Joker put the gun back in his pocket and looked at Alice who was frozen in shock. Her brown doe eyes were wide and her mouth hung open as if she was punched in the stomach. Her knees buckled beneath her and she fell to all fours. Before she could stop herself she vomited the little liquid she had in her stomach onto the floor in front of the now dead man. The last time Alice had witnessed something this horrendous was her parent’s murder, ever since then she had grown weak to violence, always connecting death and blood to the horrible memories.

All of a sudden a sharp pain shot through her head and she sat back on her knees gripping her head. The memories came flooding back all in one second like a damn bursting and breaking. “NO NO NO” she screamed and reached her arm behind her back digging her nails in deep at the semi fresh scratches. Though no amount of self inflicted pain could stop her from remembering. The Joker just watched her, pleased with the reaction he was getting, as she fell into her own pit of despair.  

_With rage in her eyes she unleashed a scream that rang though the night causing Peter to drop the blood covered gun. For Alice everything was in slow motion, the gun fell to her brothers feet slowly like gravity didn’t exist, it landed with a dull thud. She just sat there and stared at the atrocity before her, not blinking or even breathing._

_“Peter how could you.” She managed to mutter with sorrow tugging at every word. Peter just looked at his sister and backed away slowly shaking his head._

All of a sudden the sharp pain became worse and Alice felt as though someone was driving an ice pick straight into her brain. The Joker just watched her as she fell under panic stricken state knowing all too well that she was _remembering._

The pain reverberated throughout her whole body and with that she started to remember something that she had never remembered before.

_A man was standing in the corner leaning casually on the wall, he appeared to be wearing a top hat of sorts, and a long tuxedo penguin coat. Alice looked up at the man straining hard to see his face but it was covered in shadows. Peter was walking backwards straight into him, before Alice could stop her brother from colliding with this man, he took Peter into a choke hold squeezing hard rendering him breathless. All of a sudden Peter went limp in the man’s arms and he slid down to the floor lifeless.  Alice started to breathe heavily and tears started to well up in her eyes once more. This was all too much for her she had just witnessed her parents and now her brother die right in front of her!_

_The man started to walk towards Alice slowly and she did the best she could to back away from her position on the floor, fearing for her life. The man was close to her now and she could see his face, it was oddly familiar but equally as disturbing, his teeth stuck out of his mouth and they were yellow and huge. His top hat was tattered with a blue sash tied around it; a queen of hearts card was carefully imbedded between the sash and the hat._

_The man was now so close to Alice that she could smell his vile breath; he crouched down in front of her smiling widely,_

_“Oh my sweet Alice,” he reached out touched her amber hair. “You’ve seemed to have lost your muchness.”_

_Out of pure fear Alice shut her eyes tightly hoping that this was all some kind of a dream but her vision started to go red and she couldn’t feel, see or hear. She was numb._

She was knocked back into reality by the sound of familiar deranged laughter. She opened her tear soaked eyes and removed her hands that were so viciously ripping her back into shreds; she didn’t dare look at the body on the floor fearing that it might trigger the memories again. Instead she looked up to the purple clad clown who was giving her a mocked look of pity. He moved toward the distressed girl on the floor pushing back his grungy green hair and licking his lips preparing to speak,

*“Remembering’s dangerous. I find the past such a worrying, anxious place. Ehh “The Past Tense,” I suppose you’d call it.” Alice sat back on her knees and looked at the approaching clown with defeat in her eyes. He stood in front of her and continued to speak,

“Memory’s so treacherous. One moment you’re lost in a carnival of delights, with poignant childhood aromas, the flashing neon of puberty, all that sentimental ah candy-flossss…” He gestured all around with his hands, “the next, it leads you somewhere you don’t want to go. Somewhere dark and cold, filled with the damp ambiguous shapes of things you’d hoped were forgotten.” The girl on the floor continued to look at the clown with defeat but what he was saying intrigued her, it was if he knew exactly how she felt. “Memories can be vile, repulsive little brutes. Like children I suppose.HAHAH.” He dramatically wiped a fake tear from his eye,

“But can we live without them? Memories are what our reason is based upon. If we can’t face them, we deny reason itself! Although, why not? We aren’t contractually tied down to rationality! There is no sanity clause!” The Joker was now crouching down right in front of Alice, not caring that he was stepping in vomit, he reached forward and grabbed her chin gently, tilting her head up to his, forcing her to look at him,

“So Alice, when you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought, heading for the places in your past where the screaming is unbearable,” His tone of voice dropped low and he spoke with a husky inflection, “remember there’s always madness. Madness is the emergency exit… you can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away… forever.” He raised his eyebrow and let an enticing grin slide onto his lips. Alice just stared blankly into his dark eyes taking in all that he said.

What he was saying made sense but Alice refused to just simply slip into madness to escape her past, that wasn’t how the world worked. Maybe for him, but not for _normal_ people. But then again Alice wasn’t normal and that was made very clear to her at young age, so would she allow herself to plunge into madness or keep fighting and repressing like she had for so many years. After all if she succumbed to this so called madness, which ironically she didn’t even know what it meant, she would have wasted the last six years on nothing. The new person she made herself to be after her parents death wouldn’t allow her to just break that easily.  

Alice continued to look into the Joker’s eyes with no sign of emotion, she just stared into his dark inhuman orbs. He stared back ignoring her lack of facial expression and stood up quickly brushing his pants and readjusting his green vest,

“Well why don’t you ah think that over mm?” He moved behind her, grabbing her under the arms and dragged her out of the ‘living room’. She didn’t fight him, she just went limp. He dragged her back into the furnace room and let her go roughly.

Alice allowed herself to sink to the cold ground as the clown walked out of the room not looking back and slamming the door shut. She just lied on her back staring at the ceiling and let the hot tears stream down her face, the coolness of the cement floor felt good on her bleeding back and she continued to cry silently for what seemed like hours.

Once again Alice was left alone with only her dark thoughts and memories to keep her company, each one slowly pushing her towards the edge of a cliff, the edge of _madness._


	7. Lost Muchness

The hustle and bustle of the MCU was nothing new for William who had been there for the past 16 hours. He was on his fifth cup of coffee and the caffeine jitters were starting to kick in full swing, he gulped down the last luke warm sip and stared at the scattered papers in front of him. News clippings and various tabloids stared back all plastered with the face of the Joker and Alice. He talked to himself while he shuffled through the mess of papers all over his desk,

“I can’t believe that bitch. She’s only in Gotham for a week and manages to get herself kidnapped by the Joker! God damit.” He shoved everything off of his desk with force sending his now empty coffee cup and papers flying everywhere, he was furious. He stood up and stormed out of his office heading down the barren hallway in hopes of finding Gordon, but he didn’t set his hopes too high because after all it was two in the morning.

He reached the commissioner’s office and opened the door expecting to find it empty but to his surprise Gordon was slumped over a thick pile of paper work writing intensely. He didn’t even have to look up to know who just barged in, instead he continued to write and spoke in a tired worn out tone,

“William, I’m doing everything I can, you know hes a tough guy to catch but believe me were all trying our hardest to find the bastard.” He put down his pen and took off his bulky glasses looking up at the man in front of him.

“Gord it’s been 24 hours and we still don’t have any leeds! This should be top priority, why isn’t the Bat doing anything, why can’t he help? Damit I knew something like this would happen to her, she’s not going to last with him. She’s weak. God I just don’t understand, why her, why her!” Will’s face was turning red and the rage in his eyes was evident.

 He was a jealous man and couldn’t stand the thought of another man hurting her or frankly being near her. He was the only man Alice had in her life and he wanted it to stay that way, he needed it to stay that way. He knew that bringing her back to Gotham was risky but he depended on her to feed his obsessive alpha dog personality.

“Knox, like I said I’m trying. And I know you are too and won’t stop until we find him, but why don’t you go home and get some sleep, take a look at it in the morning with fresh eyes. But Will you know the Bat is gone, we’re hunting him, and once we find him we have to arrest him, you know that. And do yourself a favor and think positive, she’s a strong woman Will. I mean think about it, her father was a mobster, her brother a killer, and well her uncle…you know, a homicidal pedophile.”

“That’s another thing I’m worried about, her fucking uncle. If he ever broke out of that nut house then he would go after Alice in a heartbeat. You know, she has repressed her parent’s murder so much that she doesn’t even remember her uncle being there. He caused her so much hurt that she just fucking blocked it out. But if she ever remembers him, comes into contact with him, or witnesses a trigger then she’ll break down and go batshit insane! And I don’t want to be visiting my girlfriend in Arkham. I mean for god’s sake the Joker is just as insane as the Mad Hatter, even worse, and if she survives the Joker well who the hell knows what will happen. Jesus Christ I can’t deal with this, that fucking bitch. She’s gonna pay.” Gordon looked at Will with alarming eyes, the things he was saying was concerning, but Gordon understood that the stress of losing a loved one was probably getting the best of him. He disregarded Will’s last sentence and prepared to speak, knowing all too well that William was not going to handle it well.

“Will, I do have some rather unfortunate news…”

“What.” Will replied harshly.

“Well um the Joker wasn’t the only one who escaped from Arkham the other night…the Mad Hatter escaped as well. We didn’t want to tell you and weren’t planning on it, but now that the Joker has Alice I thought you should know. I mean it’s the Joker, even though he may come across as random, everything he does has some purpose or meaning, and we can only hope that keeping Alice alive is part of that. Think of it as the lesser of two evils, the Mad Hatter would just kill her, but the Joker, the Joker isn’t that simple.” Gordon did his best to sound reassuring but with the look William was giving him he knew that it didn’t work.

Will shook his head slowly and started to laugh in unbelief, he stalked towards Gordon’s desk and put his palms flat on the surface directly staring at the man in front of him,

“She does not belong to the Mad Hatter or the Joker, Alice is mine. And I am going to do anything and everything until I have her back.” He spat his words fiercely, each one oozing deep seeded revenge. With that he stormed out of the office and back to lounge room where he fixed himself another cup of coffee. He was already thinking of what he was going to do once he had Alice back, and his thoughts were not in the realm of forgiving hugs and kisses.

Alice shifted uncomfortably on the cold floor of the furnace room trying hard not to think about her new found memories that plagued her mind. She settled in the fetal position finding comfort in the closeness of her limbs and buried her face into her knees letting her pants soak up her salty tears. Her ribs ached with every breath making it painful to even cry, but she continued anyway pushing the sharp discomfort away.

Despite her physical and mental pain she found amenity in being alone, she was thankful that the Joker had left her like this, she needed to be by herself in order to comprehend the events that just unraveled. _Wow Alice now you know why hes in Arkahm_ , she thought to herself, _you’re uncle is s fucking murderer. A psycho murderer. He made Peter do it. I knew Peter couldn’t have done that on his own will, I always knew there was something more, but I never thought it would be uncle Jervis. Ugh, why does my life have to be so fucked up!_ She always knew there was something a little _off_ about uncle Jervis, the way he would always touch Alice when she was around, and constantly quote ”Alice in Wonderland” and “Through the Looking Glass”. But she never imagined him hurting someone, especially her family. In all honesty she thought he was a little slow, maybe mentally disabled, but it never crossed her mind that he would kill someone.

 

She did her best to repress her aggravated sobs by gripping her knees tightly to her chest, making an effort to redirect her train of thought. But the only thing that distracted her mind from the disturbing memories was the man that caused them, the Joker.

She couldn’t help but wonder how he knew that killing someone, in front of her, would make her remember. It slightly impressed her that he subconsciously used a powerful tool that psychologists often use on their patients who struggle from memory loss. This tool being some type of trigger that helps the person remember certain events, make them realize that there are more parts to a specific memory. Alice then thought he probably killed that man knowing all well it would trigger her memory, but what she couldn’t wrap her mind around was as to why he did it. What did he get out of her remembering that night, yeah he got some sick pleasure out of seeing her in pain but he could have gotten the same reaction by physically hurting her. It baffled her that he was playing mind games when could just kill her at any given moment, but Alice was smart enough to know that he had a reason for doing the things he did. Her perception of him wasn’t tainted by the alleged chaos he caused Gotham, she wasn’t under the impression that he was just ‘a mad dog’. No, to her he was someone that had a reason for everything, there was something behind his actions, she just needed to figure out what those reasons were.

Alice sat up propping herself up against the wall cradling her ribs with her legs extended in front of her, she really needed to think about her situation, she needed some self reassurance. He hadn’t killed her yet so that was the first good thing, the second was that he had some hospitality, and thirdly the extent of her injuries was just a few aching ribs. On the other hand she assumed that she would probably suffer from extreme mental problems from the whole experience of being kidnapped in general, aside from the fact that she remembered her own uncle being a murderer. But that’s if she made it out alive.

The realization of this didn’t hit her fully; she still struggled to comprehend the real danger she was in. He really could kill her within the blink of an eye, her whole life gone within a matter of seconds, or minutes, or hours, depending on how he’d do it. The Joker was notorious for just killing people willy nilly and what was stop him from just killing Alice, just snapping her neck or slitting her throat, or simply pulling a trigger. She felt a chill run through her whole body when this thought entered her mind; it amazed her that life as she new it would just stop, and the only thing left would be her breathless body. After that she would just be another memory.

Before she could let her mind wonder any further the door burst open flooding the room with the sickly florescent lighting from the hall. Alice squinted her eyes straining to see who was there, but before she could make out the figure the door swung shut and the figure stepped inside. She stayed in her position on the floor too afraid to move, the figure walked towards her enclosing the small space between them. As he stepped under the dim light his makeup covered face was illuminated along with his deep plum suit and dull green hair. His eyes darted side to side then landed on the sitting girl before him.

Alice just stared up at him with no expression, she could feel his eyes burning into her but she held her bluff. In that brief moment she let herself really look at the man in front of her, studying his ill posture and scraggly hair. Her eyes moved to his face landing on his lurid scars, the grooves and bumps that were saturated in red seemed to oddly fascinate her. Her eyes didn’t linger there too long and eventually met his sickening gaze. As he bore straight into her eyes Alice couldn’t help but imagine him without the scars and makeup. Judging by his bone structure she assumed that he must have been a rather handsome man at one point, even with the horrifying clown façade she managed to find his face unique, almost alluring.  She quickly brushed off the thought of finding this murderous man attractive and continued her blank stare.

 His jaw line tightened and he bit down on the inside of his cheek, running his tongue up and down his scars, holding in what he was about to say,

“Ya know Alice, you could take a picture, it’ll last longer MAHHAHAHA” he burst into a fit of hysteric laughter and gripped his stomach trying regain composer. Alice just glared at him in response to the snarky remark and held her position on the floor not moving a muscle. He recovered from his outburst and moved to Alice’s side letting himself slide down the wall and match her position, their legs and arms touched and she could feel the heat radiating from his body. She was surprised that he was warm, after all aren’t killers cold blooded?

The Joker emitted a long sigh, mockingly of course, and turned his head to look at Alice tilting it slightly downward and raising an eyebrow. She felt him stare at her but she just looked in front of her too afraid to turn her head and meet his eyes.

“So,” he continued, “What’dya think hm? ‘member uncle _Jervis?_ ” Alice could hear the smile in his voice and she turned cold as soon as he mentioned that name. Her mind raced and her eyes widened, but before she could question how he knew he continued to speak,

“Oh yeahh I know him, he’s an old pal, we hung out in Arkham, andddd ah I knew him before that as well. But I betcha you didn’t know that uncle J is out. Mmmhmm he’s free, running around looking for _you._ ”  The Joker could feel Alice tense up when he said that, he could almost hear her heart beat out of her chest.

 That’s all he needed to tell her, he just needed to instill enough fear that she would crack on her own doing. He had her right where he wanted her, his plan was going perfectly, now all he had to do was kill her. And that was the easy part. With this thought the Joker slowly reached into his pocket and let his fingers curl around his favorite switch blade, he pulled it out and let it click open loudly. A deadly grin slid onto his face as he anticipated what was about to happen,

“Please just kill me.” Alice muttered shakily, she knew that he was going to kill her and she just wanted it to end, all the memories and the pain, she just wanted it to be over. She no longer cared about being free and escaping the Joker, after all she would just end up in the hands of another madman within days. Her life was pointless and she just wanted it to be over.  

The Joker’s brow furrowed upon hearing Alice’s request, she was suppose to be begging him to let her live not die. He underestimated how messed up this girl really was, she was completely hopeless, but a thought entered his mind, he didn’t need to kill Alice to make her suffer and snap, no, she could do that on her own. Upon discovering her hopelessness the Joker found that he could use that to his advantage, instead of just ending her life he could make her live through it and suffer like he did. After all that’s what this whole thing was about, he wanted to put her through the same pain her uncle put him through. The torture and the torment of living with awful memories and scars was enough to drive him to madness so it would easily be enough for her.

With this in mind the Joker pocketed his knife and stood up abruptly, once he was on his feet he reached for Alice and pulled her up by one arm, she let out a little squeak of pain as she came to her feet. In one swift movement he pushed her against that wall with a single hand clasping her throat, her head collide with the wall hard leaving her vision a little fuzzy, but she still managed to recognize the clown that was mere inches away from her face.

“Now Alice where would the fun be in that, hmm? I don’t want to kill you!” he spoke his words in a laughing manner and she just stared back at him with tears welling up in her eyes, too dismayed to speak.

“You see Alice, all it takes is just one baaddd day. That’s it, just one. And you my dear have had your one bad day, you just needed a little refresher.” He nodded his head as if agreeing with himself. Alice, on the other hand, had no idea what he was talking about and she just looked back at him with unchanging emotion, but before she could even begin to comprehend his “one bad day” concept his hand tightened around her throat and pulled her head forward, then in one quick movement he bashed her head against the wall with unforgiving force.

Alice’s vision blurred and wave of numbness washed over her entire body, she closed her eyes and tried to hang on to consciousness but the blow to her head was too overpowering. The Joker’s face swirled in her mind like blood and water, creating a mush of black white and red, his Cheshire grin stayed though and face and body just seemed to vanish around it. And just like that the darkness closed in on her and Alice fell into unconsciousness.

 

 


	8. "Have I gone mad?"

Alice’s eyes fluttered open to the sound of honking horns and faint police sirens, she sat up from her laying position and glanced around at her new surroundings. She found that she was no longer in the dark furnace room she had grown accustomed to within the past 48 hours, she was in an ally way of sorts, and it appeared to be evening. She slowly stood to her feet and looked around further trying to figure out where she was, that’s when it dawned on her, she was free.

Her face lit up with excitement upon realizing her liberation but her smile fell to a frown when a pang of suspicion hit her, ‘ _why would he just let me go? This can’t be right, this is a trap.’_ This thought entered her mind and she wearily made her way to the entrance of the familiar looking ally, she glanced left and right, no one was there. No henchmen and no Joker. She stepped fully onto the sidewalk with hesitation and looked again left and right trying to gauge her location. Expensive cars lined the street and men and women in formal attire were sprinkled on the adjacent sidewalk, _‘where the hell am I’_ she thought.

Confused and slightly frustrated she made her way across the street and over to the small crowd of Gotham snobs with intentions of finding out where the hell she was. She walked up to a pair of women in shimmering gowns, hoping to God that her black eye and disgruntled clothing were enough to disguise herself. As she approached them the two stopped talking and looked her up and down, ignoring their snotty body language Alice smiled and lifted a hand as a gesture of hello.

“Hi, um, so sorry to bother you but where am I?, silly me I took a wrong turn a couple of blocks back and I can’t seem to find my way home, and as you can see its getting dark out.” Alice spoke lightheartedly and to her surprise she sounded pretty believable and not like someone who was just held captive by the Joker. The two glanced at each other briefly and the one on the right broke the silence,

“You’re a block away from Gotham Theater, there is a ballet going on tonight, hence the attire.” The bottle blonde gestured to her clothing and smiled sweetly at Alice, the other one chimed in, “I’m pretty sure it’s Swan Lake, but rumor has it that the lead was kidnapped by the Joker! And apparently she was amazingggg.” The blond nodded in agreement and Alice looked at them as if a light bulb went off in her head,

“Wow, um that’s awful, but thank you so much I can navigate from here.” She smiled and turned on her heel walking in the opposite direction. She silently thanked God that they didn’t recognize her, the last thing she needed right now was to be interrogated by the police for hours on end.

As she walked down the dimming street towards her brownstone apartment Alice tried to put her thoughts about the last couple of days in order. To begin, it had only been a week since she moved back to Gotham and she managed to land on the radar of the Joker, that being said she knew this whole fee thing wasn’t going to last long. On top of that she also managed to get the attention of her psycho uncle who was apparently hunting her down. But with all of this in mind Alice didn’t seem to care, she didn’t get the normal reaction of fear and panic, she instead felt as if she was out of her body, like she was detached from reality, almost like she was floating in some kind of a dream.

Despite her lucid state, she found comfort in the fact the Joker had dropped her in the ally they first met in, which happened to be fairly close to her home and her work.  She also found comfort in the fact that she was free, she was no longer in the choke hold of the Joker, she was no longer a hostage or whatever she was. She inhaled deeply breathing in the sweet musk of the city and continued to make her way down the cracked gum covered sidewalk.

She arrived at her apartment in a decent amount of time, the sky was beginning to darken and the cracked yolk of the sun vanished behind Gotham’s skyline. Alice jogged up the cement steps and hesitated at the door not sure to knock or just let herself in, considering this was her home she bent down and retrieved the spare key from under the mat and unlocked the door. She crossed the threshold and walked into the dim hallway where she was greeted by the familiar scent of pine and coffee, this made her nerves calm instantly. The thick black combat boots that were provided by the Joker clacked against the creaky floor as Alice made her way up the dark mahogany stairs. Once at the top, she got to her bedroom and noticed the door slightly open, light was bleeding through and shinning into the hallway.

She reached for the door and pushed it, it made a slight wimper like all old doors do and opened fully to the master suite, she was greeted by the sight of William sleeping peacefully, he had left the nightstand light on and the TV was playing back what looked like to be recorded sessions of therapy. She glanced around the room further and saw that a pile of thick folders and tapes were spread across the vacant side of the bed and an abundance of empty paper coffee cups littered the floor. His badge and gun laid on the nightstand along with various pocket knives he carried. Things always got messy when she wasn’t around. She shook her head in disapproval and turned her attention back to the television. It seemed to spaz and then the screen went black for a moment, it flickered back on and revealed a new set of people.  In the top left hand corner of the TV was the patient’s name, Jervis Tetch, and under it was the date, time and location, Arkham Asylum. The mouth on the screen moved silently but Alice didn’t need to hear the voice to know who it was. She immediately recognized the name and chilling face.

Her brow furrowed and a frown of confusion graced her, _‘ Why does he have my uncles tapes? Did William know about my uncle and never tell me? Has he known this whole time and been hiding it from me?’_ These questions filled Alice’s mind and she moved to Will’s side, she bent over him and brushed her fingers through his hair, “Hey baby wake up.”

He stirred and opened his eyes slowly; upon recognizing the face in front of him he sat up and sprang off the bed almost knocking over Alice in the process. Once he was on his feet he blinked a few times and looked at the girl before him with confusion.

“Alice? “ He spoke in a raspy tone taking a small step towards her, “Where…what…how are…he let you go?” his words came out in broken fragments and he shook his head trying to gather his thoughts, but Alice understood him perfectly and took a step towards him closing the small space between them. She smiled reassuringly and just wrapped her arms around his muscular frame. She didn’t seem to care that she was hugging the man that abused her just two days ago, she was just happy to have real human contact. The embrace didn’t last long when she noticed he hadn’t moved, he only tensed up at her touch. She withdrew her arms and took a step back bewildered at his lack of reciprocation,

“William, what’s wrong babe, I’m home! I’m free!” Will just looked back at her blankly, Alice misread his blank stare and took a step toward him, he took one back and Alice tilted her head to the side and a look of question was on her face. She was getting a little frustrated now, she had expected him to hug her and kiss her and for him to be thanking God that she was alive, but he just stood there blank faced. Finally after a few seconds of just staring one another down William opened his mouth,

“Alice, you need to come down to the station with me for questioning. If he’s still out there I need to catch him and I need you to cooperate with me. Do you think you can do that?” His voice was militant and demeaning, addressing her as if she was a little girl who got sent down to the principal’s office. In response Alice stared at him with a look of ‘what the fuck’, she was just released by the Joker and her boyfriend’s only concern was to catch him, it didn’t even cross his mind to ask if she was okay. This made Alice a little pissed off.

“Are you kidding me? You don’t even ask if I’m okay or if I’m hurt you just care about catching him? This has to be some kind of joke right?”

“This is not a joke”, he hissed “this is my career, if I catch him then I will get the promotion I’ve been wanting. So I need you to be a good girl and answer all the questions the cops down at the station will ask you, can you do that for me?” again his demeaning tone made Alice boil with anger,

“So this is about you now?! I was just held captive by the Joker and all you can think about is your stupid promotion?!” She slightly raised her voice but managed to keep it somewhat under control.

“Of course this about me! You’re alive and breathing so you’re fine. Now get out of those disgusting clothes and try to make you’re self look good for god’s sake.” He started to walk to the other side of the room and began to collect the pile of folders and papers on the bed.

Alice closed her eyes, she was so taken back by his reaction that she was completely speechless. It was clear that he didn’t care about her well being and that all he wanted from her was to answer questions so he could eventually catch the Joker and get his beloved promotion. Once again the only reason Will wanted Alice back from the Joker was so he could easily feed his narcissistic personality and over all use her for his own selfish reasons.  The realization of this made Alice nearly burst out laughing at her own stupidity, she was blinded this whole time and it took her getting kidnapped to realize it. Even when they met back in Italy she knew that there had to be something wrong with him, but back then Alice only chose to  see the good in people. Finally finding the courage to speak her mind she took in a deep breath and prepared herself for the conversation that was to come.

“Will, how long have you know about my uncle.” She suddenly asked motioning to the TV, “Will please tell me you didn’t know that my uncle killed my parents and Peter. Please tell me that you haven’t known the whole time, please.” He turned his attention to Alice who was now getting quite worked up, he was astonished that he heard her just say ‘my uncle killed my parents and Peter’ she wasn’t supposed to know.

“Alice how do _you_ know that.” He spoke in a deep voice that sounded almost parental, for a moment Alice contemplated on telling him the truth about how she knew but something told her not to.

“Because I saw it happen with my own eyes. I was there. I saw him kill Peter…” She trailed off and met Will’s burning gaze, he was clearly getting angry and Alice really didn’t understand why. Why did he care if she knew about her tragic past, it was her past not his.

“Well well well, the big bad secret is out. Congrats Alice you remembered, it only took you like what 10 years? Come on you think that I didn’t know? I was protecting you from yourself, you’ll be lucky if you don’t go crazy now. But you know what Alice, I knew about your entire past before I even met you face to face. I had my sights set on you the moment me and boys landed in Italy, it only took me a short amount of time to have you wrapped around my finger. I wanted the Mad Hatter in Arkham and you were the last step in making that happen, you see now that I found the only living victim of the Mad Hatter, which is you, it was enough to get the judge to send him straight to Arkham, without a messy trial. All I had to do was get you back to Gotham. And all the better you didn’t even know, all you knew was that uncle Jervis was a nutso! Alice, my dear, you’re so stupid.”

Alice just stood there opened mouth, she couldn’t believe that Will was openly telling her all of this, admitting to openly using her.

“But, but why didn’t you tell me? How could you keep something like that from me?” Alice responded now raising her own voice to match Will’s. “You bastard. I deserved to know.” All of a sudden Alice felt something come over her and before she could stop herself she was marching over to Will and her hand collided with his face harshly and the sound of her palm hitting his cheek echoed in the bare room. She continued to talk despite Will’s reaction of pushing her away roughly,

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!” she screamed “I had a right to know about my own family, why would you ever not tell me something like that! For all these years I knew you, and before that too, I believed my own brother killed my parents in cold blood. Do you know how awful that is?! Not that knowing you’re uncle is the one who made who made it happen is any better but still, my own flesh and blood. You make me sick. You’re a narcissistic selfish pig, I can’t believe I ever loved you.” Her words dripped with hatred, she was completely repulsed by the man in front of her.

Will on the other hand was getting rather annoyed, in his mind Alice had no right to talk to him like that, in his mind she needed to be punished. In a split second Will’s fist met Alice’s stomach in a hard punch. The blow to her already bruised ribs rendered her breathless and she fell to the floor. Tears started too well in her eyes but something in her snapped, she could almost feel it, it was like a stick being bent to its limits and with that one hard punch it just snapped.

She quickly recovered and got up from the floor replacing the tears in her eyes with rage. She charged at Will full force and managed to kick him hard in the groin. Years of fight training with her mobster father was finally paying off. Once he was buckled over she kneed him hard in the face, the crack from his nose was audible and blood started to pour out. She took some steps back to give him room, after all it was no fun to beat a dead horse. Adrenalin coursed through her veins at a rapid rate and her breath was quick and short as she stared at William who was now recovering from the hit. He stood up tall despite the blood dripping from his nose and he looked at Alice with a deadly stare,

“Don’t you EVER FUCKING HIT ME. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME WOMAN.” He came at her and punched her hard in the face, her head snapped to the side and she spit out some blood to the floor. Not giving her any time to recover he punched her again in the opposite direction snapping her head to the right. This blow sent her flying to the floor. She tried her best to back up but he stalked over to her.

“I SAID DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?” with that Will planted his foot hard onto Alice’s throat, pressing her into the floor and crushing her windpipe. She struggled under his force and tried to catch her breath, she could feel the top of her head go numb and with all the strength she had she whipped her leg up causing her hard combat boot to collide with his lower back. His knees buckled under the unexpected pain causing his to step off Alice’s throat. Within that second Alice scrambled to her feet and ran across to the room to get some distance between her and William. 

He grunted and shook off the pain, he stared at Alice who was now on the other side of the room tenderly rubbing her throat. He maneuvered across the bed and lunged at Alice knocking her to the floor, but somehow she managed to roll out of the way and was now back on her feet. She was clearly winning this fight and William would not have it.

“I’m gonna kill you Alice, just like your uncle should have, and just like the Joker should have. You really need to stop cheating death. You deserve to die.” His words rang in Alice’s ear and it was like someone had injected her with an extra dose of adrenalin because all of a sudden she was racing towards the weapon covered night stand and grabbed the closest knife and switched it open. She then charged at Will with a growl and before he could register what was happening she plunged the knife deep into his stomach.

In that moment everything seemed to stop, she could no longer hear her own heavy breathing or the painful whimpers coming from Will. The only thing she could hear was the voice of the Joker _. “_ _remember there’s always madness. Madness is the emergency exit… you can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away… forever.”_ With that she twisted the knife deeper into his abdomen and let the hot blood ooze around her hand.

“No Will, you deserve to die.” She hissed her words with venom as she continued to twist the blade deeper and deeper. The blood was now soaking her hand and the front of his shirt; it slowly dripped onto the floor creating a little crimson pool. She stared at it transfixed, and utterly fascinated, but his slight groan and whimper broke her stare and she met his eyes. They were silently begging for life and she just stared into them with a burning fiery gaze. She watched as Will’s eyes slowly rolled back into his head leaving his body limp and lifeless.

A wave of euphoria washed over Alice as she pulled out the knife and let his body collapse to the floor. She backed up to the bed and dropped the blood covered blade. She let herself fall backwards onto the firm mattress and she just looked up at the ceiling blankly, replaying what happened moments ago in her mind.

 All of a sudden she let out a soft chuckle that then turned into a giggle and before she could stop herself she started to laugh hysterically. She really didn’t understand why she was laughing but instead of trying to stop it she just continued and let herself go, simply slipping into _madness._


	9. Find Yourself

Chapter 9

Alice’s body was still, her eyes were closed and her breathing was slow and soft. She was on top of the covers, boots on and everything just like she had found Will when she first arrived home.

 After laughing for what seemed like hours, she had drifted into a euphoric sleep, one that her body craved and needed, one that she had never experienced before. To her, it was like she was a newborn child resting in its mother’s arms, not a single care in the world, nothing to worry about, utter and complete bliss.

 Alice finally felt at peace for the first time since she moved to Gotham. To the normal person this would have been rather strange, feeling calm and collected after moving to a big city, getting kidnapped and killing someone, but for a girl like Alice she had anticipated this. After all she had been raised under the care of a highly functional sociopath (her father) and witnessed an abundance of obscene atrocities at young age, things like armed robbery, gang rape, and murder. Things that were deemed “criminal” and “evil” but to her these things were normal, it was her life. And not to mention the fact that she had taken a particular interest in death and killing, a very unhealthy obsession to be exact. So naturally she had always wondered what it would be like to take a life, and she had read many books and various articles about what it was like to do so, but witnessing her own family die before her eyes seemed to kill her curiosity almost instantly. As a result of this she buried her dark and morbid thoughts for years, creating a new personality for herself, one that was forgiving and compassionate, the complete opposite of how she was wired. She was successful for the most part and when she met Will, to her, it was like she finally achieved normalcy. But little did she know that she was a sitting grandee, she was ready to go off at any moment, ready to completely explode and destroy everything around her, someone just had to come along and pull the pin. And she had to thank the Joker for that.

Alice’s eyelids slowly opened, she sat up lethargically while letting out a small yawn and glanced at the clock beside her, it read 1:00am.  She pushed herself off the bed and made her way to the bathroom not taking a second glance at the pile of lifeless human on the floor. As she entered the bathroom she didn’t bother to shut the door, she just turned the shower on and peeled off her blood stained clothes. She shoved them into the corner and then threw her boots carelessly into the bedroom as she stepped into the steam. She stood still in the scolding water for just a moment and then continued to go about her usual routine paying close attention to clean off the dried blood on her hands and making sure not to aggravate her tender ribs. After she rinsed the soap from her body, she let herself just stand still under the water, letting the droplets rain on her back, giving herself a moment to think.

Of course Alice knew what she did was wrong, she could very well differentiate between wrong and right for that matter, and what she did was most definitely not right. Yeah people might have justified it as self defense, but she killed Will simply because she had a chance. And with the way that she was feeling after the fact, this was no random act of “self defense”. No, in killing him she had satisfied the bloodlust that had been building up in her subconscious for years. Yeah she could have also easily gotten out alive, she didn’t doubt that, but apparently her subconscious decided that if she had the opportunity to kill then she would, and kill she did.

The irony of it all was that the Joker was right when he fazed Alice with killing a man; he knew she was more than capable of doing it; she just needed a little _push._ He also knew that when she saw that pointless man die it would trigger her memories and make his job of breaking her a little easier. And of course he knew all of this way before he kidnapped her; he knew it the moment she came back to Gotham.  

After all this was a personal affair, therefore the Joker needed to know everything about her so he could calculate exactly how she would react to the events that were thrown at her. So as far as he suspected everything was going according to plan, like it always did, but in this case he would be dead wrong. See he simply thought that Alice would just turn into a depressed suicidal mess; maybe have a few violent outbreaks, some delusions here and there, the cliché of a psychotic break, overall mentally scarred by the whole event, which is what he was going for. It was a little soft for his taste, but this was a personal matter, he had no one to impress, only himself, and he really didn’t care all that much for himself. This was just another attempt to ease the painful boredom that had piled up on him over the past couple of months at Arkham. And since the Bats was nowhere to be found yet, this was the only fun he had in a while.  

He really didn’t care much to stick around and see his plan pan out, that’s why he let her go, he was done with her, he had successfully beaten her down and left her to her own demise, guessing that she would have her little “psychotic break”, maybe kill herself, or move on. Whatever scenario he thought was going to happen it didn’t really entertain him due to the fact that he wasn’t really one for self pity and angst. So he moved on mentally noting that dealing with “personal affairs” was just as boring as being in Arkham. However, he would have never guessed that Alice would have reacted the way she did.

As Alice got out of the shower and dried herself off with a towel hanging nearby she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she was surprised to see that Will’s punches didn’t leave her with two shiners, only small bruises forming on her cheekbones. She tilted her head to inspect further and found nothing, satisfied with the lack of battle wounds, she rummaged through draws trying to find an old box of hair dye she had stashed away. She pulled it out of the last drawer and found that the dye was a jet black with deep under tones of violet, it would have to work, ‘ _at least its not blond’_ she thought and then dismember the box efficiently. She mixed the dye and then spread it throughout her golden brown roots and down the rest of her strands sloppily, she wasn’t going for perfection, she was going for unrecognizable. She then put her hair in a clip and exited the bathroom to let the dye process.

When she left the bathroom Alice ventured to the closest and fished around for a large duffle bag, she found one that wasn’t too big and nor to small. She threw multiple pairs of dark wash skinny jeans, a few various dark colored tee shirts, and then all the bars, underwear and socks she owned, which wasn’t many. She left out an outfit for herself and put it on hastily leaving the wet towel on the floor. She took another glance around the closest to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything and Will’s black leather jacket caught her eye. Without a second thought she snatched it off the hanger and threw it on, it was a little large but it fit her pretty well and framed her small figure nicely.

She threw the bag onto the bed and made her way over to the nightstand where she gathered up the rest of William’s knives, she put them in her bag and then reached for the gun. She hadn’t used a gun in years but considering that she was now a “criminal” it didn’t hurt to take it. She checked the magazine making sure it had enough bullets, turned the safety on and shoved it in the back of her pants. Not satisfied with her weapons, Alice searched under the bed for extra guns and ammo. To her surprise she found a large revolver, a rifle, and what looked like to be an automatic hand gun. She also was pleased to find a large metal box which incased all the bullets she needed. She grabbed the two hand guns along with the appropriate ammo and placed them on the bed. Happy with her findings she grabbed an empty backpack that was beside the bed and put the weaponry in there.

The time it took for Alice to pack her bags was just enough to let the dye in her hair set in, knowing this; she went back into the bathroom, bent down and shoved her head into the sink. She watched as dark water went down the drain leaving her hair a deadly black. She dried it roughly with towel and looked in the mirror very content with the results, it was a harsh contrast against her pale skin but it was just enough to make her look like a new person. Deciding that she really didn’t have much time to do anything further she snatched up her makeup bag, tooth brush, and the combat boots while exiting the bathroom.

She put the boots on giving her new look the finishing touch, she had chosen black skinny jeans, a deep maroon v-neck tee shirt that ended right above her hip bones, and Will’s worn in leather jacket. She smiled at herself in the mirror; she had to admit she looked pretty bad ass. She placed the remaining items into her duffle bag and zipped it up tossing it in the direction of the door; she was a little more careful with the artillery filled backpack and set it nicely next to the duffel bag. She did a quick mental check to see if she needed anything else and made her way to the bedroom door, but as she bent down to pick up her bags she halted.

She turned her attention to the dead body that was three feet away that she so effortlessly avoided while getting ready. The fresh wound on his abdomen was covered in dark sticky blood and the veil liquid pooled around his torso as well. Alice walked over to the corpse and hovered over it with a sort of cockiness, she had done that to him, she was the one to take the breath out of his lungs, she killed him. A chill ran up her spine at the thought of this and the corners of her mouth twitched upward, she found a strange sense of power in knowing that she had so easily taken a life.

Deciding that it was time to go, she turned away from the body and reached for the murder weapon. She wiped the blood off the blade by dragging it along the top half of Will’s shirt, she took one last look at his still face and a thought popped into her head.

“ _They need to know that this was me”_ she stated aloud with a chilling coldness. Alice then got a firm grip on the knife and placed it on William’s forehead, she didn’t really take much thought into her actions and she just let herself _do._ Before she knew it she drew the knife away and smiled at her handy work, she had neatly carved a diamond into the center of his forehead. Nothing to gory, just enough so that it was outlined in blood, just enough to let who ever found his body know that it was on purpose, to let them know that this was her signature.

Fulfilled with herself Alice snapped the knife shut, put it in her jacket pocket, picked up her bags and left the room without taking a second look back. She jogged down the stairs and into the living room where she put down her bags and began her search for a large black bible. She pushed some boxes aside and found one reading ALICE’S STUFF in thick black sharpie. She ripped the tape off and threw it onto the floor leaving the box open; she shoved picture frames and random documents out of her way and got to the bottom of the box where her bible was waiting.

Now Alice wasn’t really that religious, it wasn’t God’s divine word that she was looking for. She pulled out the large thick book and opened the front cover, as her memory served the bulk of the middle of the pages were cut out in a rectangular fashion leaving behind an incognito box. In it was a thick wade of cash, a folded piece of paper and a cheap flip phone. She pocketed the cash and paper then turned on the phone. Within seconds it came to life, she instinctively dialed a number by heart and held up the phone to her ear. It rang four times before she started to worry that she dialed the wrong number, just as she pulled the phone away from her face to hang it up the line crackled,

“Hello?” The voice was dark and raspy, very tired sounding, similar to a smokers, but Alice recognized it immediately.

“Saul! It’s me Alice Polanco!” she said exuberantly.

“Alice Rose Polanco? You’re shittin me. I haven’t hear from you since, the um, the accident. But with all due respect kid why the hell are you calling me at two in the morning?”

“Well Saul after my parents died you said that if I ever needed anything to never hesitate to call, I mean after all you were like a second father to me…”

“Yeah I guess that’s true”, he said with a little sympathy, “so whattya need kid?”

“I’m in a little bit of trouble. I need you to come to my apartment right away, no questions asked, bring some guys and a shit ton of gasoline. The address is 639 West 81st street and Columbus ave.”

“Uh okay kid, but why the gasoline?” Saul said sound genuinely confused.

“Didn’t I say no questions asked, now hurry. And thanks Saul.”

“Alight kid no problemo, see you in a jiff.” With that Alice snapped the phone shut and plopped down on the couch.

It only took Saul about twenty-five minutes to get to Alice’s apartment from the Bowery, considering that he was speeding and that it was two in the morning so there was little to none traffic. There was a quiet knock on the door and Alice quickly got up from her relaxed position from the couch and answered. She swung open the door theatrically,

“Welcome to my humble abode!” she gestured Saul and the three other random men that she didn’t know in to the house. They were all carrying two large canisters of gasoline each and immediately set them down as soon as they crossed the thresh hold.

 Saul was very old looking compared to the three other men who looked in their thirties, but he was taller and bigger than them. He was bald and had grey pepper scruff that made the statement of ‘of yeah I’m old get over it’. Alice was happy to see that he hadn’t changed at all.

“Go ahead take a seat, make yourselves at home, can I get you guys anything, coffee maybe?”

“Uh yeah ill take a coffee please.” One of the henchmen said politely while taking his place on the couch.

“Okay four cups of coffee coming up, wanna help me get the pot started Saul?” she asked not really giving him an option, more like a ‘I need to talk to you’ plea. Without a word he followed her into the kitchen and took a seat at the bar while Alice got the coffee brewing.

“Long time no see kid, you look wide eyed and bushy tailed, whats gotten into you?”

“Do you want the long story or the short story?” Alice asked in a matter of fact tone.

“Spare me the details please.”

“Alright” Alice began “long story short I moved back to Gotham, managed to get kidnapped by the Joker, found out that my uncle killed my family, and oh I just murdered my boyfriend who happens to be the police chief at GPD.” She paused to read the reaction on Saul’s face, but there was none, he was stoic.

“Rough week kid, so why do you need us?” Saul said cutting to the chase, which he always did.

“Well for a couple of reasons.” Alice said while searching the cabinets for spare mugs, “for starters you, right now are the only person I can trust, I have no one else to turn to. That being said, I want to take my father’s place, which is rightfully mine to take anyway.” She paused again giving Saul a moment to respond.

“I can arrange that, continue.”

Alice was slightly taken back by his answer but it instilled her with more confidence. “Number two I have a dead body upstairs and a house full of evidence, we need to keep the body but burn this place down, hence why I asked you to bring the gas. And thirdly, if I’m going to burn this place down ill need somewhere to go, are you guys still hiding out in that loft in Bowery?”

“Well we’ve down sized quite a bit, we’re still in Bowery, but I think we have an extra room. Listen Alice, I’m glad you called, I know this is not the life you wanted but I’m proud and I know you’re father would be too. You’re a strong woman; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise okay? Now let’s go check on this dead boyfriend of yours.”

“Thanks Saul that means a lot, follow me.” Alice said with a soft smile on her face. It was odd to hear the rough man compliment her like that but it gave her a sense of comfort knowing that someone was proud of what she did.

She led him up the stairs and into the bedroom, she walked in and Saul followed behind her, “Well there he is”, she said motioning to the dead body, “the prick had it coming, he just caught me on a bad day.”

Saul inspected the body carefully, crouching down next to it getting a good look at the bloody wound, he then noticed the diamond carved into Will’s forehead.

“You are just like your father” Saul said while standing up and smiling, “he always had to leave his mark, and I’m assuming that’s what this is right?” he asked referring to the engraved forehead.

“Yeah I guess you can say that.” Alice said with a bashful smile.

“Well let’s not waste any more time, Ill tell the boys to come help with the body, you start drenching the place in gasoline, got it?”

“Sounds like a plan!” Alice said excitedly well leaving the bedroom.

After a good ten minutes William’s body was safely in the back of van along with Alice’s things and the brownstone apartment was doused in flammable liquid. Alice and Saul stood on the steps of the apartment while the other guys sat in the van, he reached into his pocket and took out a large metal lighter, he flicked it on and handed it to Alice, “You can do the honors kid.”

She smiled and held onto the lighter tight; she took one last look at her home and without a second thought threw the flame into the house. She and Saul quickly retreated to the van, she got in the back seat and he climbed in after her. Within seconds the building was engulfed by the flames.  They pulled away from the house quickly and were now speeding down the streets of Gotham, sirens blaring in the distance. 

Alice’s heart was beating fast, her life had completely changed in just one night, she wasn’t the person she had made herself be over the years, now she was finally herself.


	10. Out With The Old In With The New

The ride from Alice’s burning apartment to Saul’s hide out was short, it didn’t take them long to navigate through the empty streets of Gotham. Alice of course kept her eyes watchful the whole time, making sure there were no blue and red flashing lights in the mirror. After about 20 minutes they pulled up to a large building covered in graffiti, top to bottom. Saul had mentioned they downsized but not downgraded, this place looked like the place where you would find some middle aged kid handing out mix tapes as appose to running a mob operation.

The group unloaded from the van and made their way up to the building, the three henchmen leading with Will’s body, Saul behind them, and Alice almost hiding behind Saul. The door flung open immediately and the henchmen waltzed across the threshold into a large living room of sorts and placed the body roughly on the ground. This seemed to get the attention of the other three henchmen who were sitting around a green felt covered table passing cards and sipping on dark liquor; they all looked up at the commotion with confused looks. Alice, who was still out of sight, took this brief second to take in her new surroundings. It looked to be just an average beat down apartment with little furnishings, nothing fancy just the bare necessities. It had a living room which was attached to the small kitchen, and beyond that was a hallway with four doors. “Not too shabby.” Alice thought to herself.

The men playing cards seemed to have their full attention on the dead body at their feet, their eyes darted all around hoping someone would explain, Saul took note and broke the silence.

“Alright boys listen and listen good, things are going to be different around here starting today.” He gave his introductory line and moved to the side fully revealing the girl behind him. “You guys, including me, are now under the authority of this pretty little thing here”, he gestured to Alice politely “and you are to treat her with the upmost respect, she is your boss now, you do what she says when she says it. Now before you go all haywire there is a reason she’s in charge”, Saul took a moment to read the expression on the men which was the average look of ‘what the fuck’, but he continued. “she is the daughter of the late Mr. Polanco, who we all worked for.”, after hearing this the men sat up a bit straighter which made Alice want to giggle but she bit her lip and refrained.

“That being said if you do anything to piss her off you will end up like this fella here”, Saul motioned to the dead body on the floor, the men’s eyes followed. “After all she is her fathers daughter, so if you don’t want to be killed I suggest you make her feel welcome and no funny business, I think you all know what I’m talking about, capish?” he waited for a reaction, nothing. In a mocking tone he continued “questions, comments, concerns?” the men gave each other nervous glances daring one another to speak, but the same man who spoke up to ask for coffee raised his hand and Saul gave him an approving nod,

“So what do we call her?” All the other men nodded with the question and Saul opened his mouth to answer but he was cut off abruptly by Alice who took a step forward,

She managed to muster up her most chilling voice that matched the showy introduction Saul gave her and spoke expressionless, “call me Diamond.” The henchman who asked the question gave Alice a weary look, but she matched it with a burning gaze that said I mean business.

She didn’t really put much thought into that answer, after all she sure as hell didn’t want to be known by her real name and it only made sense to call herself Diamond after the calling card she left on Will.

She took the silence and stares as a que to continue talking, “Now things are going to change around here, I know for a fact that once my father died his operation fell apart leaving uh you guys here doing your own thing. Like I said that’s going to change, no more small jobs, no more working with other mob families, none of that. We are going to be re established and people are going to know that were back in business, we are going to be playing with the big dogs now.”

Alice had no idea where all this bravado pep talk was coming from, and frankly she didn’t know a thing about ‘playing with the big dogs’ but if she made herself believe what she was saying so would the other guys, and she was right. They all gave approving nods to her speech, which kinda took her by surprise. She half expected them to put up a fight and fuss over a woman being in charge but they took the news and accepted it without complaint.

“Unfortunately we do not have time to gab and get to know each other, I’ll get to know you guys as time goes on, but work starts tonight.” Once again all the men including Saul nodded in agreement. “I need a few of you to take this body down to the MCU and leave it on the steps, nothing too hard okay? And this goes without saying but don’t get caught.”

Almost immediately after Alice finished talking the men seated around the table got up and started to move the body out of the house giving their new boss a slight smile and nod as they passed by. She was genuinely impressed, she turned to Saul,

“You trained your dogs well.” She said with an approving smile,

“Well just doing my job, now lets get you settled in, you’ve had a long day.”

Saul led Alice down the hallway to the last door on the left, he fished out a set of keys from his pocket, inserted one in the lock, and opened the door. The room was small, it held only a mattress, desk, and chair. The two stepped in and Alice looked around satisfied with what she had, she was expecting worse.

“So you got your bed, desk, and then” Saul moved to the two doors within the room, “closet, and your own bathroom.” Alice nodded in approval.

“Ill tell the boys to get you some fresh sheets and blankets, in the mean time unpack. I’m right down the hall so holler if ya need me.”

“Alright thanks Saul, really thank you.” Before she could stop herself she gave Saul a warm embrace, for a second he didn’t respond but then he reached an arm around and patted her on the back, the two pulled away smiling.

“Good night kid.” And Saul walked out of the room.

Alice went to work immediately and she unpacked most of her things in a timely fashion. She put everything in its respectful place, clothes and weapons in the closet, toiletries in the bathroom and then she put the weapons she was carrying on her on top of the desk. Satisfied with her unpacking she plopped down onto the bare mattress.

This was her new home, this was her new life, from this point on this was her. She relished in the fact that things had all fallen into place so easily, from the moment she got kidnapped to now. At the time it may have seemed like a bad situation but looking back she was actually thankful for it. It made her realize that this inevitably was her fate, to end up a criminal, she just needed stop fighting it and the moment she plunged the knife into Will it all made sense. Her whole life had been building up to that moment, ever since she was little, the things shes been through shaped her into this ‘new’ person. It wasn’t like she just had one encounter with the Joker and bam she was changed, no he was just the last piece of the psychotic puzzle that was being put together in her head.  

Alice let herself fall back onto the tattered mattress and sprawled out; she closed her eyes and let her mind start putting together plans. She schemed for a while but before she knew it she was sound asleep.

After two weeks Alice had settled in nicely, the boys treated her with respect, and to prove their loyalty they stole her a laptop as a “welcome to the family” gift.

She was getting quite comfortable being in this position of power and it showed. She naturally had a hack for bossing people around and getting things done. She had made a name for herself and her men in the underworld of Gotham; they were slowly crawling up the ladder. In only fourteen days they managed to rob banks, kill other criminals, and kill some political figures as well, all to get some attention, making their threat known. She had trained her men to kill a certain way when dealing with murders directly, and that was to slit the victims’ throat and carve a diamond into their forehead,  after leaving Will on the MCU steps it would only be natural to leave her signature as often as she could.

However Alice hadn’t left the hideout since she arrived there. Her priority was to lay low, she didn’t want people knowing that it was little Alice Rose Polanco running the newest up and coming crime gang, not yet anyway. To the public, after two weeks, last seen being abducted by the Joker, they thought she was dead. So she spent her time planning jobs, building up her strength, brushing up on her fighting skills and weapon handling. In her mind she needed to be the best she could be before she made her debut as the leader of what people were calling The Diamond Gang.

On the flipside, her goals for the gang and herself were cloudy, she wasn’t exactly sure what she was going for, but she did know that whether it be small domestic terrorist group or viscous mobsters, she was out for blood and she would make her presence known with a _bang_.

After two weeks of hard work Alice rewarded the boys with a night off, in turn she had a night off as well, but of course she couldn’t risk being recognized as the Joker’s missing hostage so she spent the night in and had the house all to herself. She plopped down on the large leather couch, Jack and coke in one hand, and TV remote in the other, she aimlessly flipped stations until she landed on the news, it droned on about the various Joker attacks and then it started mention this _Batman._ Hearing this Alice was intrigued, they describe him as some sort of vigilante, this boggled her because who would waste their time dressing up as a flying rat and saving people. The news gave a brief synopsis of the Bat’s career saying how much order and chaos he caused. This of course wasn’t new to Alice, Saul had filled her on the details of the past two years basically up to the point of the incarceration of the Joker and the disappearance of Batman, but she still watched the news like it was her first time hearing it. The broadcast then changed topics and was now warning citizens to be on the lookout for anymore Diamond gang killings, Alice let out a soft chuckle at this and that’s when she felt it  

When you are alone in a room you can just feel when someone else enters it, you don’t have to see or hear, you just simply feel a gaze burning into your skull and your breathing starts to quicken and your heart sinks to the bottom of your chest but still maintains to beet rapidly, and thats when you realize you’re not alone.

Alice felt the strange phenomenon creep up on her but she kept her gaze forward and her body still in hopes of not giving away her bluff. After a brief moment of self confliction she gently placed her glass on the floor while simultaneously grabbing the small gun she harbored in between the couch cushions for moments like these. She counted down from three then stood up abruptly turning around and aiming the pocket pistol, ready to shoot, but no one was there. She glanced all around the room franticly, she was sure someone else was here, and right now she thought she was better off safe than sorry. So with this in mind she made a dash to her room where she quickly found her way to the closet and fished for a more familiar and lethal weapon. Her hand clutched on to the large butt of a revolver and in one fluid movement she knocked the hammer back and turned around aiming the gun, again at an empty room.

But all of a sudden a shadow moved in the corner of her eye and before she could stop it a dark arm came around her face and clamped around her neck. She struggled for a moment, in pure instinct trying to pry the armored arm off, but she remembered she had a gun. She aimed the best she could at the assailant’s foot and fired, luckily it hits it target. The assailant released Alice instantly and stumbled backward giving her enough time to turn around and see who he really was.

Upon recognizing the intruder her eyes widened but then narrowed in a split second. She had recovered quickly from the attack to her neck, but her counterpart was sill gripping his foot on the floor, grunting with every breath.

“Well well well, look what the cat dragged in, or should I say _bat._ ” Alice hissed in a snarky but still authoritative tone.  

Batman’s eyes darted upward, away from his injured foot and to the women who was standing before him. He knew he recognized something in that voice and upon seeing her face he was now frozen in shock. He blinked unable to believe that Alice of all people was standing in front of him, his high school sweet heart holding him at gunpoint with a deadly look in her eye. He shook the unbelief from his head and accepted the fact that it was truly her and not some figment of his imagination.

“And here I was thinking we’d never meet, but I’ve got to say I’m quite honored I’ve landed on your radar Batsy.” She said vivaciously, the Bat just stared at her in response not really knowing whether to believe his eyes.

As she stalked toward him and loudly pulled the hammer on her revolver she realized that this was the perfect chance to show her fellow criminals and all of Gotham that she and the Diamond gang were a forced to be reckoned with. If she killed Batman single handily she would have Gotham in the palm of her hand. She smiled at the thought and closed the space between them.

He started to stir, and his panting grunts got louder as Alice grew closer but somehow he mustered up enough strength to stand up and he was now towering over her.

She looked up at him daring him to step a little closer, he took the silent warning and made no effort to move.

“You’re better than this, I know you are.” The Bat spoke in a deep gravelly tone, “I can help you, you’re not one of them.”

Alice scoffed at the comment, “you don’t know a thing about who I am.” She hissed viciously.

“I know enough to know that this is not who you are Alice.”

Hearing her name from the Bat got her attention, she made no intention to show it though, she was still in peacock mode, “Oh please spare yourself the breath Bats, this is exactly who I am. You see people like me, people who have been through hell and back, we know who we are, and this”, Alice took one last step forward causing her gun to be pressed up against Batman’s chest “is me.”  

“Then why haven’t you killed me yet.” He retorted quickly.

This seemed to take her off guard, he posed a valid question; what the hell was she waiting for? She quickly pondered the thought and didn’t understand why she couldn’t pull the trigger. Maybe it was the small string of humanity tugging at her chest or maybe it was the fact that Batman, of all people, would have only been the second person shes killed. Whatever it was she brushed it to the side deciding not to question her motives at this point.

Instead she spat out the first thing that came to mind, “I don’t want to kill _you,_ where’s the fun in that?” after a brief second she realized she just spoke the words the Joker said to her when she asked the same question. She silently cursed herself and pushed more pressure on the trigger begging her finger to squeeze a little more and put a bullet straight into his heart. But Batman just grunted at the remark and all of a sudden he lunged forward knocking Alice into the bathroom while removing the gun from his chest.

As much as it pained him to see her fall on the hard tile with an audible thud, he continued to slam the door shut. He ran across the room despite his shot foot and leapt out the window, spreading his wings and gliding through the thick city air. His timing was perfect because after only four seconds a string of bullets pierced through the bathroom door in a sporadic manor. After six rounds the gun clicked and Alice made a grunt of annoyance making a note to herself to use a gun with a magazine next time, but she didn’t hear anything else. “Did I really get him?” she questioned out loud and turned the door knob slowly.

Even though it was useless she held the gun outside the door first before she fully pushed it open, she had expected to find Batman dead on the floor but she was only greeted by the cool breeze from the open window. She put two and two together and marched over to the window peering over to see if he had made it far, and not to her surprise he did.

With a huff she slammed the window shut and marched out of her room vowing to clean up the shredded wood later. As she returned to her seat on the couch clearly unaffected by the event she couldn’t help but wonder why he had just disappeared and why he didn’t apprehend her. Maybe it was the fact that she had a gun on him but he had easily over powered people with guns before so what stopped him this time.

Alice decided that it was probably not best to dwell on it and just be thankful she made it out of there without harm and with her freedom intact so she picked up her Jack and coke, finished it in one gulp then turned her attention to the TV which was now playing her favorite show, The Loony Tunes.


	11. Dream a Little Dream of Me

_It was cold. The dim flicker of the street light above was the only thing that illuminated the empty alley. The orange glow casted deep shadows on his painted face making his smile look even more sinister. She was laughing under his idle hand that gently held her throat. His other hand held her wrists above her head forcing her whole body flush against the brick wall. He was laughing with her. Their laughter reverberated off the alley walls and echoed into the strange silence. There was no one else but them. Time seemed frozen for Alice, all she could focus on was the man in front of her, dressed head to toe in purple and sporting a face of black, white, and red. He was warm. His ungloved hand that softly gripped her throat sent burning waves through her entire body and along with the skin on her neck, the skin on her wrists seemed to tingle at his touch. He let his thumb trace her jaw line effortlessly while the other four fingers kept their place on her throat. His body language conveyed that he was still in control but also that he didn’t mean harm. The bizarre feeling of his rough thumb stroking her unscathed cheek made Alice shutter, causing her laughter to cease._

_He noticed her reaction to his affectionate touch and tilted his head low so that their eyes were level. She met his enticing stare with a challenging yet playful gaze while she let her teeth mindlessly naw her bottom lip. She really couldn’t decipher what she saw in his onyx eyes, but she saw enough to understand that his gaze was far from blood thirsty, and more along the lines of prideful domination, like a wolf claiming his prey. This didn’t scare her, it oddly enough made her feel safe, like she didn’t have to be afraid of the unknown darkness around her because the most feared thing was an inch away from her face. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply letting the smell of stale cigarettes, gasoline, and a strange woody cologne consume her, this combination would usually make anyone gag but she found the lurid scent familiar, comforting and enticing. The clown leaned in closer closing that small gap, so close that he was unable to look at both of her eyes at once. Surpassing this he leaned in further putting his mouth close to her ear letting his scarred cheek ghost against her pure flesh._

_“Ya wanna know how I got these scars?” He purred; the mere sound of his voice sent shivers down Alice’s spine. She started to giggle as if the question was an inside joke that they only knew the punch line to. He responded with an admiring grin and watched as she laughed delightfully at his iconic phrase. Her abs started to tense from the laughter, begging for relief, but the position she was being held in didn’t allow for such a thing. Her body compensated and her back arched against the brick wall completely closing the small space between them. He didn’t back away at her contact but pushed back slightly letting her know that he didn’t mind the closeness. Their bodies fit together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces locking into place._

_“Oh Alice, ya know there’s not a lot of people like us. Other people, they just don’t eh understand what we see, we see the truth in people, we see who people really are.”_

_With their bodies still touching Alice shifted slightly letting her hips press deeper into his. “and what do you see in me?” she whispered._

_A sly smirk graced his scars at her innocent question, he let out a small chuckle and answered, “What I see is ah, is a girl who knows exactly who she is. A girl that no longer has to hide who she really is, you Alice, can finally be **you**. No one is holding you back, you made your choice. You’re not the result of a few **unfortunate** events, those things that happened, there all just a bad joke, memories that are locked away **forever.** But you my dear don’t **need** anything to define you, you **want** something to define you, and that very something is chaos. You see, I’m an agent of chaos, and chaos is the very thing that defines who people really are.” _

_“and who am I really?” she asked challengingly ._

_“You’re a freak, like **me**.” _

Alice’s eyes shot open immediately, she instinctively grasped her throat, she looked all around the ceiling realizing that she wasn’t in a dark alley being pinned to a wall by the Joker, she was safe in her bed. It had all been a dream, or nightmare depending on how you looked at it.

She sat up lethargically rubbing the sleep from her eyes and planted herself on the edge of the mattress, letting her legs sprawl out in front of her. She let out a long sigh and allowed herself a moment to process her delusion filled sleep.

Ever since she killed Will, dreams with the Joker in them were becoming pretty normal. At first his appearances in the dreams were small, most of the time he wouldn’t even speak, he would just be there. Other times it would just be his yellowed Cheshire grin surrounded by complete blackness and nothing else. These dreams didn’t bother Alice, nor did they really interest her, she was completely unaffected by them, until now. That being said it wasn’t everyday that Alice found herself smiling under the death grip of a madman or practically flirting in this case, so this dream caught her attention.

 At first she was really uncomfortable with the fact that she just dreamt about the Joker and for that matter having their bodies pressed against one another. It was odd enough to be having constant dreams about him and now to make it even more strange these dreams were becoming a little too real and a little too physical. It was like she could hear him perfectly, smell him perfectly, and even feel him perfectly. The tingles and shivers that she had experienced in the dream still lingered on her as if his hot hands never left her body. Along with his burring touch, Alice still smelt that strange attractive scent, it was heady and deep like an odd cologne that on any other man would be gross, but on him it was alluring.  This dream didn’t posses that murky haze that other dreams seemed to have; this dream was clear as day. And it was this very fact that made Alice’s stomach flutter.

The concept of her and the Joker’s bodies pressed against each other would make anyone want to cringe, including Alice, despite the fact that she was all giddy about it in the dream. But as she replayed the dream in her head the idea of having someone so close to her was a tad comforting, even though said person happened to be a psycho clown. His closeness would cause any women to tremble in fear, he had that way of making people turn to putty in his hands, accept Alice. His touch sent excitement down her spine and a pit in her stomach, the exact opposite of putty. It’s like when you’re swimming and you want to put your feet down but the water is deeper than you thought. You can’t touch the bottom and your heart skips a beat. That’s how the Joker made Alice feel, he made her feel alive, in her dream at least. She stopped the thought in its tracks immediately, “Alice no. There is nothing comforting about being hip to hip with the Joker, he does not make you feel alive, bad Alice” She said sternly to herself.

Nevertheless she still couldn’t shake the fact that she had slightly enjoyed the dream. She really did find comfort in being so close to someone and it didn’t bother her that it was the Joker. It also didn’t bother her that she kept thinking of it as a dream and not as a nightmare, simply because she found nothing nightmarish about it. But it was all the things that didn’t bother that bothered her the most.

She let herself fall back on the bed with a huff and tried to look at this from a psychological stand point, which she often did when she couldn’t make sense of something at first glance. 

At the time when her parents died Alice was studying to go into psychology so naturally she had obtained a good chunk of information on the subject, including the psychoanalyses of one’s dreams. So she concluded that this dream of hers unfortunately had to mean something. As she recalled, according to Sigmund Freud there were two components to a dream, one being the manifest content and the other being the latent content. The manifest content is the actual literal subject-matter of the dream, while the latent content is the underlying meaning of these symbols. Freud believed that the latent content of dreams is suppressed and hidden by the subconscious mind in order to protect the individual from thoughts and feelings that are hard to cope with. By uncovering the hidden meaning of dreams Freud believed that people could better understand their problems and resolve the issues that create difficulties in their lives.

As she thought about this she couldn’t help but sigh, _“of course leave it to me to be subconsciously attracted to the Joker. Great good going Alice.”_  She tried to justify it by thinking that it was just her mind trying to make up for the fact that she hasn’t had any sort of physical or sexual interactions within the past two weeks, but who was she kidding she had gone months without sex before and didn’t have dreams about getting flirty with a murderer.

After mulling over the entirety of the dream, the little speech the Joker gave her _during_ the dream crossed her mind, she took a moment to really think about what he said. He had told her that people like them saw the truth in people and he continued to tell her what he saw in her. Of course the Joker never actually spoke those things to Alice; it was purely her own subconscious and like all things that our subconscious makes up, it was exactly what she needed to hear. This is because after her run in with Batman she started to second guess her actions and question if the monster she’d become was really who she was, the Batman told her that ‘this’ wasn’t her and that she was better than ‘this’. In all honesty though Alice had never felt more like herself and hearing that from someone else, even if it was in a dream, made her feel a whole lot better.

The dream reassured her that what she was doing was indeed what she truly wanted, here she could be herself, and she wanted to be herself. She didn’t want to hide under a veil of normalcy for the rest of her life, constantly trying to hide the bloodlust in her eyes and the dark thoughts that swirled in her head, no. She wanted to see the truth in people, she wanted to be that defining factor in a person’s life, like the Joker said, she wanted to be _chaos_.

Alice reluctantly sat up on the bed deciding that pushing her thoughts about the dream and the Joker aside was the best decision she could make. She had more important things to focus on, she didn’t have time to swoon over mysterious serial killers in her dreams, she was running a major crime operation after all. She needed to focus on how she was going to make her big debut in the Gotham underworld, and that needed her upmost attention.

She made her way out of the bedroom and made a b-line for the kitchen, she needed coffee and she needed it now. The living room/kitchen was filled with soft chatter of the henchmen, the TV was silently set on a news channel and some were watching mindlessly and others were sitting sipping on whiskey. This was what daytime looked like for a gang of criminals; they didn’t have anything to do until night fall, so they filled their time off with alcohol and senseless activities.

“Hey boys!” Alice called as she entered the kitchen. Everyone’s head looked up at her entrance and they all responded as one,

“Hey Diamond.” Their choral greeting made Alice smile as she poured herself a cup of straight black coffee. She held the mug tightly in her hands and leaned against the counter facing the living room men. She began to speak and the men gave her their undivided attention.

“So as you all know”, she paused to take a sip of her coffee, “the past two weeks have been very successful, and that’s all thanks to you.” She took another sip and set the mug down signaling that her speech was going to be a little serious. The men responded by sitting a bit straighter. “But as you may have noticed I have been absent on your missions, that’s going to change though. From now on I’ll be right along with you guys, because our missions are going to get a little more dangerous and more important.” She left her position on the counter and moved closer to the group of guys. “The risks were going to take are big ones and I need your complete loyalty, which I already have. So that being said I need you guys to be on your A game for our next little excursion.”

The boys all nodded and talked among themselves for a moment before Saul rose his hand to speak for the group, “Diamond what is it that you’re planning?” he asked a tad apprehensively.

“Well Saul, we’re going to kill the mayor.”

**A/N: Oh snap, shits about to go down, the only person who tried to kill the mayor was the Joker and he didn’t even succeed. Speaking of the Joker I hope that the dream made up for his lack of appearance in recent chapters, but trust me you’re going to be seeing him a lot more, don’t lose hope! Speaking of the dream…Alice looks like she’s getting a little hot and heavy for killer, I mean who wouldn’t after having a dream like that. (Oh and if you couldn’t really picture their position in the dream please refer to 50 Shades of Grey movie cover, that’s kinda the look I was going for) But she can’t focus on her subconscious attraction to him, she is in no way of planning on seeing him again, he is the least of her worries…for now ;) Anyway drop a line below and tell me what you think, feedback of any kind makes my day!! xoxo**


	12. The One About the Dead Mayor

“Well actually I’m going to kill him and you guys are going to help.” Alice clarified, but that didn’t ease the distressed looks she was getting. The men all looked at each other in question and then back to Alice who was waiting for some sort of verbal response.

“Are you joking?!” A nameless henchman asked in a sardonic tone. That was not the response she was hoping for.

She shot him a deviled look. She wasn’t particularly mad about the response but it was the fact that it made her think of a certain murderous clown, and she did not like that.

“Do I look like the fucking Joker?” Alice replied deadpan.

The henchman lowered his gaze in shame and nodded his head no, but his remark seemed to spike interest in the other men.

“Hey didn’t he try to kill the mayor a while back?” Bob, a random goon asked.

“Wait who are we talking about?” one of the boys called from the back.

“The Joker you dumbass!” Bob said while hitting the guy in the head.

No one said these guys were smart.

All of a sudden they all started talking at once, asking questions and commenting about the Jokers failed attempt to kill the mayor. Even Saul joined in on the loud bicker.

“Hey.” Alice said trying to get the groups attention, but she wasn’t heard. She was getting quite annoyed now and her headache was coming back. She needed them to shut up.

“HEY!” The talking stopped and all eyes were on her.

On any other day this chatter about the Joker wouldn’t have bothered Alice, hell she would have joined in. But after her recent dream she was left feeling rather confused regarding her feelings toward said clown and right now the mention of his name made her blood boil.

She really didn’t have a reason for this, yeah he kidnapped her and beat her up a couple weeks ago but she was thankful for that, it opened her eye. On the other hand the only logical reason for her current strife was that she was angry at herself for liking the dream, and even that wasn’t logical.

After all it was only a dream, just a mere figment of imagination, so what was the harm in liking it? No one had to know that she liked the dream; no one even had to know about the dream period.

Ignorance is bliss right?

But Alice knew that she liked it and she did not like that.

She did not like the fact that him, the Clown Prince of Crime , of all people had made an intimate appearance in her dream. And that it had made an impression on her.

“Stupid clown.” She hissed to herself.

Alice then realized that everyone was looking at her like she had five heads. She had gotten lost in her own thoughts and forgot that she was addressing her men. She cleared her throat.

“I am not the Joker, unlike that idiot I will actually succeed in killing the mayor.” Alice stated frankly.

The boys shot her an unbelieving look, not really sure if they actually heard her call the Joker an idiot.

“You better not let him hear that.” Saul stated jokingly. The boys chuckled in response but Alice was not amused. She shot him an angered glance warning him not to push it. He raised his hands in mock surrender.

“Listen, I know it sounds hard to pull off but it’ll be easier than you think.” She stated.

“And just how do you figure that.” A henchman asked warily.

“Well, all I have to do is make a simple phone call to the mayor’s office saying I have the names of the members of the Diamond gang, and bam I have a meeting with the mayor himself. Me and him alone in a room. All you guys have to do is stand guard and make sure no one interrupts our little meeting. Once I off him we’ll bomb the building and make sure all of Gotham knows that we, the Diamond Gang, killed the mayor.”

Saul looked around at the other guys and spoke for the group, “Alright kid, you’re the boss, so uh of course we’re going to help. When is this little mission going to take place?”

“Tonight.” Alice replied confidently. And with that she dismissed the boys and told them to rest up and get ready for their next excursion.

Darkness covered the city even though it was only 6pm. Alice’s meeting with mayor had been scheduled for 6:30 making it his last appointment of the day. This conveniently also meant that the building would be mostly empty making the henchmen’s job a little easier.

They rolled up to town hall in a large black Escalade, even though they were criminals they rolled in style. Alice had instructed the men to drop her off on the front steps and then park the car in the back making for an easy get away.

She made her way past the front desk with ease, security didn’t pat her down figuring that she wasn’t concealing any weapons. Dumb security guards.  

She was then directed straight to the Mayor’s office where she was greeted by a tall dark and rather handsome man. He was writing furiously and didn’t even bother to look up, Alice took this time to send Saul a text saying she was in and then ordering them to storm the building.

“Miss Smith, please come in.” Mayor Garcia said without looking up.

Alice entered the room and took a seat in front of his large desk.

“You have to forgive me, this is my last meeting of the day and I’m in a rush to get home, the wife is making pot roast.” He finally looked up.

Alice avoided eye contact and looked at her phone, she received a message from Saul saying that she was good to go. She then placed her phone in her pocket, and gave her attention to him.

“So Miss Smith you mentioned that you had the names of this Diamond Gang, please tell me how you managed to get the names.” he stopped writing and gave her his full attention.

Alice shifted in her seat and batted her eye lashes giving her an air of innocence. “Well Mr. Mayor,” she spoke softly letting her gaze drift around the room, “for starters, I know the leader personally.” She made eye contact with him and he nodded for her to continue.

“She-“

“It’s a girl?” Garcia asked interrupting her.

“Yeah, she’s a girl.” Alice was slightly annoyed that he found it hard to believe that the leader was a girl. In that moment she decided that she cut the small talk and just get to the chase.

“and that girl just so happens to be me.” With that she withdrew a large knife from her leather jacket pocket, the same one she killed Will with, and jumped over the desk. She was quite nimble and quick, after all she use to be a dancer.

In one swift movement she was now straddling his lap and pressing the blade hard against his throat, giving him a deadly stare.

“Listen, please don’t take this personally”, she spoke softly and shifted her body so that most of her weight was pressing down, clearly making him uncomfortable with the rather sexual position. “think of this as business Mr. Mayor.  I, Diamond, the leader of the Diamond Gang, just want to show Gotham that it belongs to _me_ and not you.”

She removed the knife from his throat and poked it at his chest on “you”. This made him flinch and Alice squeezed her thighs tightly around his lap.

In that moment she thanked God that she was a women, she loved using her sexuality to her advantage.

“Oh don’t be scared Mr. Mayor” she said mockingly, “It’ll only hurt a little.”

With that she quickly and expertly brought the knife against his throat and carved a deep slit. Blood starting oozing out and he tried to yell but only bloody gargles escaped his mouth.

Alice removed herself from his lap and quickly moved behind him. She took his head in one hand then gently etched her signature into his forehead, smiling while she did it.

The familiar wave of euphoria washed over her and her veins were buzzing with adrenaline, she hadn’t deliberately killed anyone since Will and she was a little apprehensive on how she would feel about it. But to her surprise she felt great, she didn’t feel sick or dizzy, she felt as if she was on cloud nine.

  She pocketed the bloody knife and called Saul telling him to come help her with the body and rig the charges.

Within the matter of fifteen minutes Alice and her crew were speeding down the streets of Gotham with the town hall burning in the rear view mirror. They did it, they killed they mayor and blew up town hall without a hitch. This was the perfect introduction to her reign of terror and she reveled in every second of her euphoric filled drive.

They made it back to the hideout in good time and entered the house wooping and hollering in success. As soon as Alice crossed the threshold she made a b-line for the TV in hopes that their coming out made the eight o’clock news, which it did.

The boys gathered around the screen along with Alice and they looked to it expectantly,

“I’m Martha Curic reporting live for GCN.” The reporter was in front of the burning town hall where fire fighters were working hard trying to conceal the flames. “As you can see here terror has made it’s way back into Gotham, tonight around seven o’clock Mayor Garcia was brutally murdered, not short after several bombs went off in Town Hall. Thankfully the only fatalities were the mayor and two security guards, all deaths took place before the explosion.”

As Alice watched the news and she couldn’t help but be reminded of the night she met the Joker, where a similar news report was being giving about his escape from Arkham. Alice silently laughed because now the news was talking about her.

“These events seemed to be caused by the Diamond Gang, Gotham’s newest rising band of criminals. Unfortunately as of right now police have nothing to go off of, Gotham is at a standstill and we mourn the death of Mayor Garcia. I’m Martha Curic, goodnight.” The news changed to a reporter behind a desk where he gave the usual ‘if you know something say something’ speech.

Alice turned off the TV pleased with herself and her men, “Well boys, job well done. Now let’s celebrate.”

**A/N: Sorryy this was a short chappie but I feel like I needed to just get to the point in order for the plot to keep moving. Don’t worry a certain clown will make an appearance next chapter, so don’t get your panties in a bunch. Now speaking of panties, Alice can be a little seductive bitch am I right? I bet Mayor Garcia was feeling something a little more than fear, if you know what I mean. ;) sorry I’m perverted but hey I can’t help it if Alice uses it to her advantage. Well that’s pretty much all I have to say, just stick with me the story is going to get moving pretty soon. Questions, comments, sarcastic remarks? Leave ‘em down below, I love hearing for you guys! xoxo**


	13. A Memory for Two

The Joker stared at the blank TV screen with rage in his eyes and a snarl on his lips. He was seated on a large wood crate of sorts that served as a make shift couch. His henchmen were close by but they had put themselves at a comfortable distance after witnessing the newest GCN report. They knew the boss would not be happy when he watched it and they were right.

The Joker’s arms tensed and his fists were clenched tightly making his knuckles turn white. His whole body was boiling with animosity and the snarl on his lips twitched in response. He was furious, no; furious did not describe what he was feeling. Words for that matter wouldn’t even begin to describe his new found anger.

He replayed the news cast in his head giving himself a moment to really process the new information while completely ignoring the men around him. 

Of course he heard word that a new criminal was making their mark on Gotham, and at first he wasn’t worried, at least not until now. He was sure that it was just another petty crime group attempting to follow in his footsteps, but the news report showed that they were actually one step ahead. They had successfully killed the mayor, which he had failed at year ago, and they pulled it off without a hitch.

This angered him deeply, this “new gang” was stealing his spotlight and he would not just sit back and let it happen. Now that he was out of Arkham it was time to play, Gotham was his playground and he did not take lightly to new kids on the block, especially ones that had the balls to blow up town hall. Only someone as crazy as him would have the nerve to do that.

He let the thought ponder in his head as he mumbled aimless incoherent words out loud. To his men he sounded as if he was speaking a different language, maybe Russian, they couldn’t really tell, it was all mangled and muttered. But the men knew well enough to understand that he was angry and furiously concocting a plan.

After a brief moment of self confliction the Joker settled on the simple decision to just kill this “new criminal”. It was the easiest way to eliminate the growing competition and he would get a chance to ease the painful boredom that was creeping up on him. But then again having competition, other than Batman, might be fun. He would just have to wait and see.

“Boys!” The Joker barked breaking the silence; all his men looked to him in response.

He licked his lips fast and took a large breath before speaking. It was clear that he was still very angry but he had an odd control over it, “I eh need to meet this _Diamond Gang leader._ Find them and set up a little get together, I want to _introduce_ myself.” He said darkly putting emphasis on his S’s.

“Okay boss, we can do that. When and where?” asked a henchman, Billy Boy,  who obviously was a little slow in the mental department and didn’t quite understand that asking the Joker questions was a bad idea.

The Joker smacked his lips together and disregarded Billy Boy’s stupidity. He made a mock look of contemplation by tapping his temple, “Tonight. At their hideout.”

“You got it boss. But If you don’t mind me askin’ are we gonna kill em?”

The Joker shot Billy a dangerous glare, clearly conveying that he was pushing it. But suddenly he broke into a fit of giggles slightly startling the henchman who took a cautious step back. His tone was high pitched and lively, completely contrasting his previous way of speaking.

“Why of course Billy Boy, ya see they think they can do whatever they want” he motioned with his hands wildly as if trying to catch the phrase in the air around him, “and ah that’s a _no no.”_ he shook his index finger back and forth to clarify his point.

Billy Boy nodded his head in understanding and left the room with the other men following. The Joker remained on the crate and slumped over a little letting his tainted hair fall in his face. He started to mutter again, this time with a more vicious tone. He let the Slavic sounding words roll off his tongue in a rapid manner and he shook his head and tapped his fingers while carrying on the conversation with himself, the threat of murder dripping at every word. After all he was sure that whoever was the leader of the Diamond Gang had a death wish and he might have to be the magic genie that granted it.

 

Alice stirred in her bed as the light from the setting sun bled into her room. Her stomach churned and her head was still spinning, her mouth was as dry as a desert and she was already trying to put the vague memories of the previous night together. Her hair reeked of cigarettes and she noticed that she was still wearing the clothes from yesterday with tiny specks of the mayors blood crusted on her top.

 Her current state of being was the result of partying a little too hard last night. At the time it seemed like a good idea to celebrate their success but as her head started pounding she deeply regretted it. She rolled over on her back and tried to ignore the painful bliss of her hangover and focus on falling back to sleep.

She was starting to drift off when Saul burst though her closed bedroom door and slammed it back shut, “Diamond!” he whispered harshly as he made his way to her mattress. She groaned in response and rolled over to face the other way. “Diamond, kid you need to get up now. Someone is here for you.” His tone was slightly panicked and even through her dazed state Alice could tell that he was being serious.

“Whatttt Saul, who the hell is here?” She growled into her pillow.

Saul sighed in response knowing that she was not going to like his answer. “The Joker. He wants to see you.”

Alice immediately shot up with her eyes wide. She ripped the covers off of her body and stood up abruptly, blinking her eyes rapidly trying to grasp what Saul had just said.

“What?! What do you mean he wants to see me?! How does he know where I am?!” She started to breath heavily and gripped her head in pain as the pounding grew more intense. The not so distant memories of her time spent with him came flooding back, the he threw her around and the way he toyed with her mind made her hangover seem painless.

“Hey kid calm down.” Saul spoke softy, “I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know it’s _you_. He said he wanted to meet the Diamond Gang leader kept referring to you as a him, so he’ll be just as shocked as you are.”

This didn’t help Alice’s panic stricken state. “But why does he want to meet me? I don’t understand!”   

“Beats me kiddo, why don’t you go and ask him yourself?”

“He’s out there, right now?? Just waiting for me?!” Alice said slightly raising her voice.

“Yeah he’s sitting on the couch right now.”

“Fuck. Okay go out there and keep him waiting. I can’t have him see me like this!”

With that Saul left the room in a hurry and Alice ran to the bathroom to observe herself in the mirror. Her makeup was faded, her hair was a nest, and she had deep blue bags under her eyes that seemed to compliment the tiny bruises she had all scattered over her arms. She was a mess, but a fixable mess.

She quickly touched up her makeup making the smudges of eyeliner look like they were there on purpose. She added some foundation under her eyes and then added a touch of lip gloss to compliment her full lips. She calmed down her dark locks and rushed out of the bathroom to change her stale blood stained clothes.

Thoughts of the Joker and her dream swirled in her dazed head; she would be lying if she said she didn’t still feel a little drunk. She tried to push the dream out of her clouded mind but she could feel her cheeks redden and her palms turn sweaty at the mere thought of him. If she was feeling this way just thinking about him in her dream then she wondered how she would react when he was standing right in front of her. She needed to stay focused and not let her petty subconscious attraction get in the way of whatever was about to happen.

She changed into a fresh pair of ripped jeans and threw on a loose fitting black V-neck tee shirt. She contemplated going out bare foot but then deemed it as unprofessional, reluctantly she put on her Joker provided combat boots.

Although she was physically ready her mind was still in shambles, she couldn’t push the thought of her dream out of her mind. It was unsettling that she was feeling this way, that the mere mention of his name made her feel dizzy and sent heat waves through her body, all because of that meaningless dream.

She grunted and pushed the door open with a huff trying to shove the annoying thoughts as far back as possible. She walked down the hallway and made her way into the living room where he was allegedly waiting.

She turned the corner and there he was, sitting on the couch by himself with Saul and another henchman standing guard, guns in hand. The back of the couch was facing her so her presences wasn’t made known yet, she used this to her advantage and took a deep breath before walking around the couch and standing directly in front of him.

He sat there with his back straight. He drummed his fingers rapidly against his crossed legs while his eyes darted back and forth examining the make shift living room. He was dressed in his usual purple ensemble but his great coat lay neatly folded on the couch arm. This left him in his pine green waist coat, lavender pattered shirt, and grey paisley tie. This was accompanied by his orange and green argyle suspenders and rolled up sleeves, giving the whole look a casual but sophisticated feel. He was sporting a fresh coat of grease paint and his hair was the usual green tangled mess but it was pushed back making his grisly features stand out. Alice drank in his appearance, he was utterly iconic.

She really couldn’t believe that he was in front of her. She thought she would never see him again, only in her dreams.

The Joker’s eyes widened and a grin slid on his face after taking account of who was standing in front of him. Over the past couple of weeks he had completely forgotten about Alice and moved on, not giving her whereabouts or well being a second thought. For all he knew she could have been hanging from a beam with a noose around her neck or she could have been sitting in a tub of blood and water with her wrists slit open. Both ways he didn’t care and he knew that without a doubt she was dead.

Who wouldn’t want to kill themselves after a couple days with the Joker right?

But there she was standing right in front of him alive as ever with narrowed eyes and unreadable lips.

He uncrossed his legs and placed both hands on his thighs as if preparing to stand up. He leaned forward and dipped his chin low while raising his left eyebrow and baring a sly grin. His gazed burned into Alice’s eyes and she equally met his intimidating stare.

“Well eh, hello _Alice._ ” He purred deeply dragging out the _ce_ in her name.

“Hello Joker.” She said equally as seductive, although she didn’t mean it. Her heart was beating fast and she could feel her hands getting clammy but she held her unwavering stare. It amazed though her that the man-or monster in this case-that she had had an intimate dream about was sitting right in front of her.

“So you’re ah the Diamond Gang leader hmm, didn’t see that one coming.” He said in a sardonic tone casting her a look of question.

“Yeah I guess I am, now what do you want.” She said straight faced trying to act just as calm and collected as him even though she was freaking out.

“Oh come on Alice don’t you want to catch up? It’s been _soo_ long, hows the eh boyfriend?”

“Dead.” She replied flatly. This made the Joker burst into a fit of laughter, he threw his head back and his manic giggles filled the vast room sending chills up Alice’s spine.

She realized that she hadn’t even thought about Will since she killed him.

Funny how easily you forget someone when you plunge a knife into their stomach.

“Ohhhh _Alice_. You, you have changed.” He pointed at her directly stressing the ‘you’. “If I _remember_ correctly you threw up when I killed that eh random guy, now, now you’re ah killing the _mayor?”_ he laughed again,“I have to say I’m _impressed._ You took my advice after all.” Hesaid while leaning back causally against the couch crossing his arms.

He took this chance to look her up and down while slowly licking his lips as if savoring her appearance. This made Alice extremely uncomfortable and she shifted trying to hide the fact that she was blushing.

“and _murder_ looks good on you.” he said darkly and almost in a whisper. If Alice wasn’t standing so close to him she would have never heard him. The back of her neck burned and she felt the blood rush to her head as a result of his simple comment. It immediately made her think of the way he had spoken to her in her dream, which evidently she kinda liked. But she meant business, so she pushed her unwelcome feelings aside.

“What do you want Joker.”

“I want a lot of things _Alice.”_ He said in that same seductive tone while running his tongue along his scars, “and ah if you want me to tell you those things I suggest that your eh,” he searched for the word in the air with his ungloved hand, “little _goons_ leave.”

Alice wasn’t sure if he meant it as suggestive but despite her better judgment she looked at both of her men then back at the Joker. She wasn’t sure where her boost of confidence came but she took it and ran with it.

She looked into his dark orbs challengingly, “Boys leave.” She said harshly without breaking eye contact with the clown.

He flashed Alice sadistic grin showing off his grotesque yellow teeth and stood up abruptly after the front door shut behind the two men. They were completely alone now.

He started to circle her, eyeing her up and down with every step. He paused at her back and she quickly turned around feeling too venerable with her back towards him. He noticed her obvious discomfort and smirked letting out a soft chuckle. Alice on the other had her eyes wide in fear and lips slightly parted as if trying to muster up the strength to say something but her confidence diminished at his close proximity.

“Ya know Alice, I was planning on killing _you._ But that’s before I knew that you were you. Are you following, you look a little confused. Or nervous.” His eyes darted across the room and he took a small step forward slightly bending to whisper in her ear, “is it the _scars,_ you wanna know how I got ‘em?”

She instinctively took a step back, the vivid words of her dream almost matched the ones he just spoke which sent shivers down her spine. Her head started to spin again when she realized that he just said he was planning on killing her.

But despite the way her subconscious felt, she in that moment felt disgusted with him. The way he eyed her like a piece of meat and the way sarcasm dripped off his every word, it made her sick. She also couldn’t help but be reminded of what he did to her, even though now she was thankful for it, it still enraged her  that he took her and fucked with her mind then left her in an alley. How rude.

All of a sudden the anger mixed with her slightly clouded state gave her another boost of confidence and she decided that she was going to play the sass card.

“Yeah, how did you get those ugly things?” she asked challengingly.

His bemused look turned into a dark predatory stare in a second. “Careful Alice, do you forget who you’re talking to?” he growled taking another step towards her.

Before she could take another step back he grasped her chin roughly and pulled a blade from out of nowhere and pressed it against her flushed cheek. She struggled for a moment but he teased the knife at her lips and she stilled instantly.

So many thoughts were running rapid in her mind but for some reason she could only focus on the face in front of her, she was almost drawn to it in a sick sense, despite her disgusted feelings. She really did want to know how he got the scars, they deeply intrigued her ever since they met that cold night in the alley.

“You see I was a boy. A teenager. And one night I was walking down the street, someone snatched me up.” He gripped her chin harder and shook it a little dramatizing his words “he took me to this place and ah told me that I was his um _Cheshire Cat_. He told me that I reminded him of his nice, _Alice._ ”

The cogs turned in her head and immediately clicked into place. Her heart sank when she realized who he was talking about, her uncle.

The Mad Hatter was notorious for kidnapping children, torturing them, and then killing them. That’s why he was so hard to track down, there were no living victims.

“Some might of said he was mad as a hatter.” He let out a loud manic laugh, but his face turned deadly in an instance, his mood changing so fast like a shifting shadow, “he told me that he _saw_ himself in me, like he saw himself in _you._ ”

He parted her lips with the blade and pressed it against the corner of her mouth, she started to breath more franticly and look around with her eyes, silently screaming for help. Her heart was beating fast and in that moment she couldn’t help but believe everything he was saying, it made sense. That’s why he kidnapped her, because in turn her uncle did that to him, he took him and maimed him so that he was forever reminded of that night. This sent a pang of guilt through Alice but she was reminded of who she was dealing with when the blade in her mouth tugged at the corner of her lips. The guilty feeling disappeared.

“So, he takes knife, sticks the blade in my mouth, and does this,” he turned his face left and right making Alice examine the crimson soaked mutilation. “to me, and ya know what, now, now…” he trailed off and looked around as if searching for the right thing to say, but he didn’t find it. He removed the blade from Alice’s mouth and let go of her chin but leaned down to her face, so their eyes were even.

“I want to make a deal.” Alice’s brow furrowed. He had just been telling her the most intriguing story ever, and the fact that she was related to it made it even more interesting. But he just stopped mid sentence and left her hanging. Alice almost dared to ask him to continue but she couldn’t give him the satisfaction of her attention, it would diminish the little authority she had.

At this point she was feeling extremely flustered. He had just been so close to her, telling her something that no one else has ever heard, it made her stomach flip. It was so similar to her dream, but she wasn’t laughing and having a jolly good time, she was terrified.

“A deal?” Alice asked shakily trying to straighten out the thoughts in her head.

“Do you ever listen hmmm? Yes a _deal._ If you eh come work for me then I will uhh…” he trailed off again, “I’ll give you one million dollars.”

Alice couldn’t help but scoff at his offer, “are you kidding me? I wouldn’t work for you for a trillion dollars! I’m doing perfectly fine on my own, I don’t need anyone.”

The Joker snarled his lip, “fine, how bout you just think it over and give me a call hm? You have my card.” He patted her on the cheek, picked up his great coat and walked to the door.

Alice was so confused, that was it?

“Wait!” she called as he reached for the doorknob. He turned around and glared at her, “that’s it? That’s all you wanted?”

“Trust me _Alice_ , you’ll see me again, and when the eh time is right I’ll tell you exactly what I want. I’m a man of my _word-h_.” He cackled loudly and slammed the door shut leaving Alice alone once again.

**A/N: Wow okay I know that was a lot but I had to make up for my previous shitty chapter. That being said what did you think? How rude of the Joker to just leave Alice hanging like that, but don’t worry he’ll be back. I know I keep saying this but this is where things will really start to get moving. I intended for the slow burn approach, I feel like you need to do that when it comes to the Joker and Alice, they are two completely different people but in so many ways they are similar and connected. And it takes time to develop them and show you guys just how opposite and similar they are. Alright well I think that’s it, PLEASE REVIEW. I feel so empty when people don’t review. Make my day and tell me what you think! Ta ta for now xoxo**


	14. Déjà vu

Chapter 14 Deja vu

It didn’t take long for Alice’s henchmen to come rushing in to see if she was okay, after they saw the Joker storm out they were terrified to see what he had done to her. But thankfully she was sitting on the couch unscathed, staring at the wall as if she’d seen a ghost.

“Diamond!” They shouted as they crossed the threshold. Saul ran straight to Alice and sat down beside her while the other henchman kept his distance.

“Hey Diamond” he said softly, “are you okay” he put an arm over her shoulders for reassurance “what did that bastard want.”

“I…I, yeah I’m okay.” She responded shakily keeping her gaze on the wall. “He wanted to make a deal, it was so strange and random…”  she drifted off trying to hide the uneasiness in her voice.

“What kind of deal?” Saul said hesitantly keeping his tone soft and personal.

Alice broke her stare with the wall and turned to face Saul, “He asked me to come work for him, for one million dollars.”

The other henchman moved closer upon hearing this, standing directly in front of the seated pair, “oh please tell me you didn’t say yes!” he was starting to yell which sparked some anger in Alice, “That guy is a nut case! You can’t work for him, he’ll kil-” he was cut off abruptly by Alice who stood up matching his stance.

“OF COURSE I SAID NO YOU IDIOT!” She shouted in his face, “WHAT DO YOU THINK I’M CRAZY OR SOMETHING?!”

Saul stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her down but she shrugged it off, “Please, the both of you leave me alone. I don’t want to talk about this.” She said sternly while pushing past them both and storming down the hallway.

Saul gave an apologetic glance toward the henchman who got scolded, “Don’t take it personally kid, the Joker can really fuck with your head, she just needs some space.”

“Whatever you say Saul, I just think it’s that time a month.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upon entering her bedroom Alice collapsed on her bed and let the tears come steaming out. She wasn’t really sure why she was crying, she was completely overwhelmed and crying seemed like the only logical response.

So after sobbing for a good ten minutes Alice sat up and decided to at least try and sort out her many thoughts about her most recent encounter with the Joker, but for the life of her she couldn’t. She couldn’t even begin to decipher the mess that was her brain, she was so confused and flustered. Nothing about his visit made sense, it just didn’t. Why did he want her to work for him, didn’t he already have enough henchmen, what would she add to the mix?  Was he just simply playing games, like he always did? What did he get out of scaring her and fucking with her mind?

She reached for a pillow and shoved it in her face in attempt to stifle her scream. She was starting to get mad at herself for not understanding and was overall just pissed off about the whole situation. To her, nothing made sense, except one thing, the story about his scars. Oddly enough, it was the only thing she could wrap her head around.

Alice knew exactly what he went through that night, she knew what it was like to be tormented by the Mad Hatter and to live to see another day. She could only imagine the physical pain he went through, but she knew very well what it was like to have a life altering experience similar to his.

Now she understood his ‘one bad day’ concept, maybe she was the only person who could understand it, maybe that’s why he kidnapped her in the first place. To remind her of her own ‘one bad day’ and to make her realize that he was the only other person to understand what she went through.

She felt relief upon thinking about this, knowing that someone else knew exactly how she felt. To know what it was like to just snap upon a single moment and forever be a different person. But it was strange to think that that person happened to be the Joker and it kind of scared her that in fact he was the only person who would ever understand how she felt. No one ever would be able to comprehend what she was put through by the Mad Hatter, only herself and the Joker would ever know.

Her relief went away in a flash though as soon as she thought of her uncle. The Joker had told her that he was out of Arkham, and hunting for her. Just thinking about him made Alice want to crawl in a hole and die. He was a disgusting human that deserved to rot in a basement of rats; she hated him. However that was three weeks ago, and by now you would think that the Mad Hatter would have found Alice, but he hadn’t, even Batman beat him to it. So naturally she didn’t see her uncle as such a big threat anymore.

On the other hand she felt extremely threatened by the Joker. He had said he would be back again, and that when the time was right he would tell her exactly what he wanted. It didn’t help that Alice new for a fact that indeed he was a man of his word and would keep to his sickening promise. That being the case she found herself starting to question if she really did desire to know exactly what the Joker wanted and if his wants had anything to do with her.

She dismissed this thought quickly and questioned what _she_ wanted. She didn’t even know what she was doing in this place, in this life, all she knew that it felt right to her. She had longed for this feeling her whole life, a sense of belonging, and she finally had it. But where she was and what she was doing was dangerous, crazy, and unhealthy, in other words it was pure _chaos_. Alice immediately thought back to her dream, the Joker was right, her past didn’t define her. She didn’t _need_ anything to define her, she _wanted_ something to define her, and she wanted chaos.

She sniffled up her tears at this thought and sat up a bit straighter. She had no reason to be scared and cowardly, the Joker’s wants shouldn’t be a threat to her. If she let it be then he would win, and this was all just some kind of game right, some kind of sick power play between two raising criminals, nothing more than some friendly competition.

Right?

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After what seemed like hours of over thinking and justifying herself Alice managed to fall into a deep sleep that her body needed. But now the setting sun was bleeding into her room and teasing her droopy lids to open.

Reluctantly she sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes making a mental note to get black out curtains. She glanced at her bedside clock and noticed that it was 5pm, she had slept through the whole night and day, which was odd. Usually if she wasn’t up by 1pm her henchmen would wake her up and basically drag her ass out of bed until she screamed mercy. Thankfully they didn’t and she was feeling more refreshed than ever.

After last night’s ordeal she needed some rest and now that she had an awake and clear conscious she was feeling great. The overwhelming feeling that the Joker instilled in her was completely gone and she decided not to let that stupid clown plague her thoughts any longer. So what if he came back, she could handle him right? She managed to escape him once so she could do it again, right?

Her new outlook on the situation made her want to jump for joy and tell everyone she knew that she didn’t care about the Joker because to her he was just another criminal in Gotham. (One that seemed to invade her subconscious), but in the end just another person to cross off her hit list.

Alice got out of the tangled mess of sheets and made her way to the bathroom with an extra oomf in her step. She went about her normal routine with some added liveliness and managed to not even think about the Joker once! She wanted to share her infections good mood with her boys so she made her way to the bedroom door.

As she entered the hallway though something struck her as strange. Usually she would hear the TV blaring or random banter in Italian, but she was greeted by an eerie silence.

“Boys?” she called out in question receiving no answer. She hesitantly made her way down the hallway, “boysssss” she sang, but still no answer. Maybe they were out on a small job, or at the bar.

But as she crossed the threshold into the living room the familiar smell of copper filled her nose and it rendered on her tongue like she was sucking on a penny. Her heart started to beat loud in her ears and as she turned the corner her breath got stuck in her throat and her stomach lurched.

She was greeted by the sight of her men slaughtered, lying lifeless in pools of blood. She managed to take one step forward before falling to her knees in disbelief.

“oh my god.” She muttered to herself while eyeing the whole scene. She couldn’t believe her eyes, all her henchmen including Saul were dead, with multiple wounds and slit throats. The bloody mess of bodies made her head spin. The smell of death overpowered all her senses and she just stared at the lifeless pile of bloody flesh before her.

She was in complete utter shock. Too stunned to do anything else but just stare. It was scary seeing all this death right in front of her, but it wasn’t the fact that it was a gory mess that scared her, it was the fact that she didn’t feel anything that chilled her to the bone.

The familiar feeling of numbness washed over her. Numb feeling , how oxymoronic, how fitting. Could you actually feel numb? Or was it the inability to feel? Alice was so used to being numb that she equated it to an actual feeling.

She was stuck in this state of wanting to feel something, but the longer she looked at the bodies she realized she couldn’t, and she was okay with that. She was okay with not feeling anything, it was strangely freeing.

However, even though she didn’t really care that all her men were dead she wanted to know why. She wanted to know who had the guts to come into her home and slaughter her men. In order for their deaths to be justified there needed to be a reason behind it. And she wanted to know exactly what that reason was.

Alice remained kneeled on the floor still transfixed by the massacre, “who did this to you…” she whispered to the dead bodies.

“Oh I think I would be eh _mee._ ”

Alice whipped her head around upon hearing the voice. He stood behind her, purple pants and green vest covered in a deep red, which matched his unwavering grin. She stood up quickly and took a step backwards, with her eyes wide in shock.

“I told you I’d be back doll face!” he extended both of his arms wide and flashed a yellowed teeth grin. “I’m a man of my word _Alice._ ” He nodded and raised his eye brow as if giving her the okay to speak.

The blood rushed to her head and anger and adrenaline coursed through her veins, feeding her growing fury. “You.” She snarled, “you did this?! How dare you! I can’t believe you!” she screamed.

The Joker shot her a mock look of being startled and placed a hand over his chest to dramatize his reaction.

“You better have a good fucking reason for this Joker. I swear to god I will, I will” she tried to think of a threat but his sardonic expression left her speechless. “UGHHH!” she slammed her foot into the ground like toddler which made the Joker giggle.

“Oh Alice, please tell me what you’re going to do. Tell me your _plan._ Humor me.” He said grinning through his teeth, fingers twitching at every word.

Truth be told she wished she had a plan but she didn’t. She never planned on all her men getting killed, so in reality she was left clueless. She always had a plan for everything, that’s how she operated and here she was not a clue in the world, what she was going to do next.

“Mmmhmmm that’s what I thought.” The Joker said in response to her silence, “So why don’t you come with me huh?” He took a step towards her and she instinctively took one back, landing her in a warm pool of blood.

There was no way in hell she was going with the Joker willingly.

“No!” she yelled astonished at his proposition.

“ _No?_ ” the Joker repeated in a deathly tone. “It wasn’t an option Alice.” He hissed. His eyes seemed to turn black and his grin turned into a stern grimace. “Look around you Alice, you have no one to go to, nothing to do with all your,” he rolled his eyes and caught the words in air with his blood stained hand, “ _sorrow._ ”

His words hit Alice like a freight train. Once again he was right; she didn’t have anyone to go to. She had no one left. But she wasn’t feeling sorrowful, she was feeling furious. He had no right to just waltz in on her life, kill her men, and then continue to insist that she go with him. No way!

Even though all her men lay dead at her feet she was not willing to give up that easily. The Joker’s words and his actions seemed to only feed the fire burning in Alice, they didn’t put it out like he hoped. He hoped that she would just crumble, that she would just snap in half like he wanted her to do from the start but here she was as whole as ever, with that very fire burning in her eyes.

She needed to prove to him that she was just as strong and tuff as him. She needed to beat him at his own game. “You’re wrong Joker. I don’t feel sorry for myself, I feel _nothing._ ” She hissed, “ _you_ think that you can just turn my world upside down with a flick of your wrist, but you are dead wrong.” She pointed at him and he turned his shoulders and looked around before mouthing ‘me?’.

“I don’t know what the hell you want with me,” she continued, “if its revenge for whatever my uncle did then fine you got it. But I don’t break that easily. And this,” she motioned to the bloody mess around her “means nothing to me.”

“Oh wow Alice, look at you being all _bad_.” He moved closer to her and this time she stood her ground glaring at him. “Ya know, honestly, I didn’t expect this.” He said in a deep warm tone, “I thought for sure that you would just eh kill yourself or something, but this,” he looked her up and down fiendishly licking his lips, “is way more entertaining.”

She scoffed in his face, trying to ignore the fact that she was slightly flattered to have the attention, “so that’s what this is, just some form of entertainment for you? That’s your reason?” she questioned.

“Mmm no, that’s where _you’re_ wrong, I don’t _need_ a reason for any of this,” he extended his arms and looked around the room grinning, “reason does not exist, no, no!” he said raising his voice on the last ‘no’. “I told you before that I just _do_ things _,_ because I can! You see _you_ don’t need a reason for anything. Nothing has to be justified, even though everyone thinks it has to be, it doesn’t. Reason, at its simplest, is just something that people made up because they were too afraid to just let things _happen_. And and, you,” he stuttered pointing at her chest, “you don’t need reason. You don’t need to justify anything Alice, and you very well know that. I know you do. So do yourself a favor and just let _go._ ”

Surprisingly his words resonated with her. It was true that no one _needed_ a reason for anything, people just _wanted_ a reason. But even though she knew this and partly agreed with it, she could not let him win, she could not just let _go_ that easily.

Her fight or flight response kicked in and gave her another burst of anger except this time she did not hold back, she drew her fist back and punched him hard, right in the nose. His head whipped to the side and he let it stay there for just a moment before he looked out the corner of his eyes and let a sickening grin slide onto his face.

He quickly reversed their position making himself step in the pool of blood and punched Alice hard in the ribs, sending her straight into the dry portion of the floor, how considerate.

She landed hard, and her breath ceased. She felt sharp jabs of pain throb in her side, she was still struggling to breathe, and her vision blurred with tears.

 Alice attempted to get up but the searing pain in her abdomen anchored her to the floor. The Joker walked briskly over to her cringing body and rose his blood covered foot over her porcelain neck. She looked him straight in the eye and pleaded silently.

He met her doe eyed stare with a gaze that burned ferocity, and without blinking he slammed his foot down hard crushing her wind pipe. She was scared now.

**A/N: My apologies for the late update, I hope this chapter made up for it. Please leave a review, it really makes my day and I love hearing from you guys. I not only write for myself but I write for you guys, the only people I know who love the Joker/Batman as much as I do.**

**Side Note: HANNIBAL IS BACK. If you don’t watch Hannibal then I’m sorry but you’re not living. Trust me Hannibal is the best show on TV rn. Please invest in seasons one and two then watch season three on Thursdays at 10! BTW season two there is a character very similar to the Joker, which is where I actually drew some inspiration from!**

**That’s all for now! Xoxo**


	15. Assumptions

Chapter 15 Assumptions

There were only two things on Alice’s mind.

One: “I can’t fucking breathe” and two: “now he has a gun.”

Her eyes stared down the barrel of a sleek black Beretta as she violently clawed at the bloodied foot crushing her throat. Things just got a whole lot worse. Not only was the Joker choking her with his foot but he was now holding a gun to her face.

Fear engulfed Alice, filling up every portion of her body and burning deep into her bones. This kind of fear was paralyzing, one that stopped you form thinking, moving, and breathing. Fear like this rendered you from feeling anything else no matter how hard you tried. It was a selfish emotion and it only left room for pure instinct. When fear like this is coursing through your body you don’t have time to think about the repercussions of your actions, your only thoughts are consumed by trying to stay alive.

The lethality of her situation had sunken in and she knew what she needed to do. She needed to surrender. She stopped thrashing and clawing and laid there completely still, not moving a muscle, not even blinking.

Of course surrendering was a sign of weakness and it went against her prideful nature, but surrendering was her only option, if she wanted to stay alive that is. And of course she didn’t have time to think all of this through because the only thing she was thinking was _‘Stay alive. Stay alive. Stay alive.’_

The Joker had all power over Alice, she was completely helpless. There was no way she could have managed to escape his vice like foot _and_ avoid being shot in the head, there just wasn’t a way. If there was a way she would have gone that root but trying to overpower him out of the question.

“Mmm smart girl.” The Joker growled at her instinctual stillness.

He removed his foot from her throat and pocketed the gun into his purple great coat.

Alice gasped for air and instinctively reached for her throat trying to soothe the bruising pain. The oxygen hit her lungs hard and sent a rush of life through her whole body. She automatically started to stand up and she regained her balance and sense of feeling rather quickly, but her mind was still chanting ‘ _Stay alive. Stay alive…’_

Despite her physical pain and her rather annoying blank thoughts she glared at the Joker with fury evident in her eyes. He matched her stare with a malevolent grin that stretched ear to ear clearly showing his amusement.

She wanted to smack that smug look off his face so bad. But seeing that her last attempt at physical harm got her a gun in her face and a foot on her throat she immediately trashed the idea. Instead she continued her game of silent chicken, staring at him, waiting for him to speak.

“Now _Alice_ ,” he sighed, “haven’t you learned that hitting people isn’t nice?” He sarcastically raised his eyebrows giving her a moment to respond. “Or did your daddy never teach you that?” he let out a loud laugh that made Alice snarl her lip in disgust. He continued anyway trying to stifle his giggles.

“So eh let’s try this again shall we? Oh and since you can’t seem to _understand_ what I want you to do, I’m going to tell you.” His voice darkened to a low growl and he quickly reached his hand behind her neck grabbing a fist full of hair. He pulled it taught exposing her bruised neck and leaned in close, eyes moving everywhere and tongue darting rapidly over his crimson lips.

Alice inhaled sharply at his grip and grimaced in pain. His smell was overpowering and unlike her dream he smelt vile. The combination of blood, sweat, and stale cigarettes made her sick and the lingering smell of whisky didn’t help either.

“ _You_ are going to come with me and you are _not_ going to try and escape or…or…” his eyes darted side to side and his lips smacked together “or you’ll regret it. You got that much?”

Alice rolled her eyes in response and his grip on her hair tightened making her gasp a little.

“Oh and no more _questions.”_ His voice deepened again and he moved his face closer to hers, noses almost touching. “Reason or no reason you’re eh coming with me.” He nodded furiously.

Alice gulped. Here she was again left with no other option then to comply. No other option then to just give in. She hated that so much, she hated that she was helpless when it came to him and that there was absolutely nothing she could do to save herself.

The Joker changed his position so that he was standing behind Alice still tightly gripping her hair. He shoved her forward pushing her across the room and out the door, using the fistful of hair to steer her like horse.

He directed them out of the house and into the brisk city air where a white van was sitting idly. Franticly he opened the back two doors and pushed Alice in.

“Ow! What the fuc-” before she could finish her sentence he slammed the doors shut leaving her alone in the empty gutted van.

There was no light and nothing to secure her in place. She would have argued that it was unsafe to be back there but the partition blocked her from the Joker and whoever was in the driver’s seat.

The van lurched forward and buzzed down the street, Alice slid around the back with each sharp turn making her head collide with the metal walls. It hurt like a bitch.

As she attempted to stand to bang on the partition the van braked sending her straight on her face, it was like they were doing this on purpose.

“Fuck you!” she yelled as the van sped up again.

Alice grunted and decided that is was best to just sit down and try her hardest to avoid being knocked around.

She leaded against the cold metal and took a deep breath, closing her eyes. It was pointless to try and guess what the Joker wanted to do with her or where they were going. After all he made it very clear that he didn’t necessarily have a reason for any of this. Instead, her thoughts seemed to gravitate towards the events that just transpired.

All the blood and torn flesh she witnessed burned in her brain. She had never seen anything like that before. Of course she had witnessed her fair share of murders and committed some as well but she never saw that much death in one sitting. It was strange though, how she felt so numb. The gruesome sight did nothing to her.

Her thoughts shifted and rendered on who caused all that death. And to her surprise when she thought about him she felt everything but numb. He caused rage to course through her body and adrenaline to pump through her veins. He made her feel petrified and fearless all at the same time. It was like he was some kind of drug that woke her from numbness. But maybe that’s what happens when someone is threatening your life, maybe anyone with a gun can make a numb person feel something. But then again maybe it was the thin string of sanity and instinct that was holding Alice together, just waiting and begging to finally snap.

In all honesty though she felt extremely conflicted with her current predicament, of course she was completely enraged, the Joker had no right to just kill all of her men and then take her against her will, it just wasn’t fair. But on the other hand, the narcissist in her couldn’t help but be flattered by the grand gesture. He went out of his way to make sure each one of her henchmen had a slit in their throats, just so he could make sure that Alice had no one. This slightly disturbed her though, she shouldn’t be feeling flattered by the fact that he committed mass murder, that just wasn’t normal, but then again she wasn’t normal.

She sighed and continued to mull over her current situation, weighing out the pros and cons. That’s when she came to the realization that this wasn’t all that bad. Yeah she had been kidnapped, yeah she had a bruised windpipe and sore ribs, and yeah all her henchmen were dead. But things could have been worse. She could have been in jail, she could have been dead, or worst of all she could have been still trying to mask herself under a veil of false normalcy.

At least here, in the back of the Jokers van, she could be herself and really that was enough for Alice. She didn’t need her men, they were a great help, but they weren’t necessarily vital to her. As long as she had herself she was fine.

Like she had decided before, she wouldn’t let herself be afraid of the Joker. This was all a game and she was determined to win. Despite if he had the upper hand she would still try her best to keep her held high and her dignity in tack. All in all Alice was looking pretty optimistic about the whole situation. Despite her pessimistic views on the world she was always a glass half full kind of girl, always trying to find a way to benefit herself out of situations. But little did she know that her opponent was of a totally different nature. He was neither pessimist nor optimist. He didn’t see the glass half full or half empty. He was the one to tip the glass over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After about an hour of twists and turns the van halted to a stop and stood idly for a minute before the engine was shut off. Alice immediately stood up as she heard the front doors slam shut. She backed up to the partition anticipating for her doors to be flung open as well.  

She was right. The doors flung open and flooded the dark van with the sickly orange glow of a street light. It blinded Alice for a brief moment but her eyes adjusted quickly, revealing that the person who opened the doors wasn’t the Joker.

Instead it was a guy that Alice had never seen before. He was tall and lanky. His cut facial features were deeply shadowed by the street lamp giving him an almost skeleton look. He had short dark brown hair that was styled in a James Dean fashion and he had pricing sea green eyes that were illuminated, almost iridescent, like a cat’s. He looked ghostly and cast an empty gaze on Alice who simply stared back.

“You weren’t kidding boss, she is quite the looker indeed.” His voice was deep and unexpected; it didn’t match his rather malnourished look.  He smiled approvingly and nodded his head looking Alice up and down.

With that the Joker was immediately at the mystery man’s side staring at Alice as well with a deep malevolent grin. She eyed the both of them apprehensively with her back against the van wall feeling like a cadged animal at a zoo.

The Joker turned to face the green eyed man and slapped a hand on his shoulder a little roughly. “I told you Arlo she is _beautiful_.” He drawled burning his gaze into Alice who remained silent and still.

They were right though, Alice was beautiful. But not the kind of beautiful that was empty and vein. She possessed the kind of beauty that haunts you and makes you believe in some kind of god. Her beauty was unique and timeless.

To start, her eyes were a deep rusty brown that looked almost red in the orange light. Her pouty and full lips matched the red in her eyes and the beauty mark that rested above them gave her an air of ethnicity.  Her newly jet black hair contrasted her stark pale skin giving her a flawless porcelain sheen, and her thick eyebrows framed her face perfectly and added to her naturally sultry stare. She was ethereal and breathtaking.

But her cheeks were hollow and hues of purple and blue rested under eyes, they matched the yellowing bruises on her neck. Her collar bones jutted out along with the bones that lined her chest. She looked tired and worn out, almost cancerous. Her recent change in life style caught up with her and usually that would easily diminish someone’s beauty but it did the complete opposite to Alice. It gave her an edge.

The Joker looked at Alice catching her watchful gaze. He narrowed his eyes,

 “Lets go.” He said sharp and fast pressing his lips together.

Alice didn’t even have time to respond before the Joker was in the van and gripping her arm like a vice. It was sure to leave a bruise. He dragged her out of the trunk and she lost her footing, tripping and landing hard on the rocky gravel. Arlo took a step back moving out of the way.

The Joker, who was still gripping Alice’s arm, yanked her up forcible making her whimper in pain. She was standing now and managed to ignore the bruising pain in her arm to take in their new surroundings.

They were in a large gravel parking lot that was scattered with flickering street lights. The sight of tall city buildings glowed in the distance and the streets that surrounded them were empty and dark. Usually Gotham never slept and the streets were always filled with cars and people but these streets were eerie and you could almost see dark figures lurking in the shadows. Alice took all of it in and concluded that this could only mean one thing, they were in the Narrows.

More immediately though, she recognized the building across the gravel lot. It resembled some type of theater or venue; it was abandon though and looked extremely neglected. But before she could analyze it any further the Joker was pulling her along towards it with Arlo follow close behind. The Joker walked fast, taking long strides and furiously looking all around, keeping his head low. Alice tried to keep up but struggled to match his pace and his hand gripped harder and harder as they neared the side entrance.

However she did manage to take into consideration that this decrypted place might be her new home, and no matter how uneasy that made her feel, she refused to let it bother her. Instead she decided to keep her head held high and just go with the flow, what was the worst that could happen?


	16. Talkin' to Myself

It smelled of must and rot. The two scents danced together and filled Alice’s nose as she was forced past the theater threshold. Her eyes warily adjusted to the dim florescent glow and the faint sound of deep chatter resonated in her ears. How cliché, she thought, that the Joker would have his hideout in an abandon theater. She had to hand it to him though, he was one for the theatrics. This place suited him. 

As she was pulled through the hallway with Arlo leading, she noticed a series of doors on her left and right. Most were closed hiding whatever was behind them but a few were cracked open reveling humble cots and sparse furnishings. She had no doubt in her mind that these must be the Joker’s henchmen’s rooms. She wondered briefly if she would have a room, or if she was even staying for that matter. She immediately pushed the thought out, she wouldn’t let herself be consumed by what if’s, she had to go with the flow. No questions asked, roll with the punches, play his little _game._

The three came to the end of the hallway and were greeted by a wooden door which opened up into a large great room.  This was the source of the chatter. Ripped couches, beat up tables, and hefty men littered the room.  They were talking amongst themselves, drinking beer, lighting cigarettes and chasing the heady smoke of marijuana down with a myriad of pills. The scene reminded Alice of a shallow high school party, only there were no red cups and these men were clearly not high school age. The door slammed behind them, making Alice jump. The Joker noticed and smirked at her, ever so slightly tightening his grip on her arm.

Everyone in the room froze and looked up.

“Evening _boys”_ the Joker drawled, captivating everyone’s attention.

The men responded with respectable nods and some uttered a ‘hey boss’. But most turned their attention to Alice, they eyed her up and down with curious and rather thirsty looks.

She could feel their eyes burning into her body and she snarled her lip in disgust. The Joker seemed to sense this too, so he changed his grip on her arm and wrapped his arm around her waist. He let it hang low, and dug his fingers into her hip bone, tapping them rhythmically.  The stance was clearly possessive and if that wasn’t enough his taunting glares made it clear that she was his toy only. It went without being said and the men slowly returned to their various activities, making sure to avoid looking at Alice.

The Joker smiled, satisfied with the group’s reaction. He removed his arm from Alice’s waist and whispered something to Arlo before disappearing behind a door across the room. Instinctively Alice followed him with her eyes, staining to see behind the door, curious as to where he went. But before   curiosity could kill the cat Arlo placed a light grip on her shoulder,

“Come on, follow me.” He said softly.

He led her back through the door they came through and down the dim hallway to a closed a door. He opened it and flicked the lights on. Like the other rooms, there was a small cot and a worn down dresser, but attached to the room was a small bathroom holding a tiny shower, sink, and toilet. Alice took note of this and smiled inwardly, at least she had some privacy.

“Well this is your room Alice”, Arlo said with a sigh, “come on sit down.” He gestured to the cot and placed himself on the edge, reluctantly Alice followed suit.

He smiled politely, warming his cool green eyes and running a hand through his dark hair.  She took note of his striking features up close. He was very unique looking, almost foreign, slightly Middle Eastern. A thick smell of after shave lingered around him and hung in the air. Alice didn’t feel threatened by him, if anything she felt safe. He proved himself to be a respectable man and that sat well her.

Arlo took a breath and started to speak,

“Now, the boss wanted me to lay down the rules.” He nodded and kept speaking, “rule one, don’t try and escape. If you do you’re dead. You won’t even make it out the door before a bullet is lodged into your skull, you got it?”

Alice nodded yes and made a mental note, escaping = dead.

“Rule two, you do what the boss says when he says it. No questions asked. I’m pretty sure that goes without saying. And uh rule three…is uh…well there is no rule three. Just don’t be stupid. You think you can do that?” he said in an undermining tone.

Alice hated being patronized.

“Yeah. I got it.” She answered coldly.

“Great.” He smiled and patted her on the thigh before standing up and heading to the door.

That’s it no explanation? Here she was in the Joker’s hideout being told what to do and there wasn’t an explanation?

“Wait!” Alice said. Arlo stopped in his tracks and turned around eye brows raised in question.

“Why am I here?” she asked softly. Arlo sighed and walked back over to the cot sat down. He placed a hand on her knee and took a moment before talking. Alice just stared at his hand, taken back by his lack of personal space, but she didn’t mind. She met his gaze.

“Am I like some kind of henchwomen now? Am I working for him? Like whats the deal here. Why me, why am I here.” She asked desperately.

“listen, I wish I could tell ya but in all honesty I don’t know. I’m just as lost as you are. The boss has a tendency to keeping everyone in the dark.”

Alice wasn’t satisfied with the nebulous answer, even though Arlo was being completely genuine.

“Well I mean come on, you have to know something! Anything, please. Why the fuck am I here. And don’t you dare pull that ‘there doesn’t have to be a reason’ bullshit.”

Arlo nervously laughed and ran his hand through his hair, “look all I know is that you’ve been stirring things up in Gotham and getting attention. I also know that the boss doesn’t like it when the attentions off of him, so my guess, this has something to do with that.”

Alice rolled her eyes, “okay, but um…” she hesitated to ask her question, she didn’t want to sound scared, but she kind of was. She was in his territory now, the game was on his turf, that meant he had the upper hand. She mustered up the strength to ask her question,

“Is he going to kill me?”

With that Arlo stood up and took a moment before answering. He walked over to the door and opened it. But before he walked away completely he turned around,

“If he wanted you dead, you would be dead by now.” And just like that he left the room closing the door behind him, leaving Alice just sitting there.

She grunted hard like a bull before slamming her fist violently into the cot letting the lumpy mattress absorb her petty anger. She was pissed off and annoyed more than anything else, she wanted to know what the hell she was doing there and she wanted the Joker to be the one to tell her, that was the least he could do after slaughtering all her henchmen.

But instead of wasting her energy on sulking, she lay back on the cot and decided to look at the grand scheme of things and do some thinking, which she was starting to realize she was doing a lot of that lately. She started letting her thoughts pass her lips so she could actually physically hear them, addressing herself in the third person, which she found was a great coping skill.

“Okay Alice, you’re fine. You don’t need to get your freaking panties all in a bunch. This prick clearly wants you alive and that’s a good thing. The worst he could do to you is kill you and he hasn’t done that yet, so just be cool.” She closed her eyes and took a deep refreshing breath before continuing her little pep talk,

“all you gotta do is just hang in there, hes got nothing on you, just the lingering thought of death…but whatever, that’s water under the bridge! Like that freaky dude Arlo said if he wanted you dead you would be. So HA. The joke is on him, I’m still kicking and kicking hard.” She got up with some unexpected energy and started walking around the room, talking to herself, moving around aimlessly like a child with ADD.

“You got nothin’ to worry about Alice. All is good. Look on the bright side, he can’t do much to you, you’re already fucked up enough! HA! Oh you’ve been fucked for a while too, I’m just happy you finally realized it, it was just a matter of time, and now look at you,” she somehow made her way to the bathroom and was now talking to herself through the mirror, “you’re finally embracing you. Life already fucked you once and you rose from the ashes like a phoenix! You’re a changed person! Ever since that dick killed that poor man right in front of your eyes, you’ve been different. Oh but he was doing you a favor! All that horror and pain from such a long time ago is pointless! God, ever since you killed Will you’ve been on fire! No, there’s no going back to that dumb bitch who ran away from her fears, there is no more room for the bliss of ignorance. You know who you are and what you’ve done, and no one can take that away from you!”

Alice was getting real fired up now. She couldn’t contain the smile that was growing on her face as she kept talking to herself in the mirror.

“You damn well know that you can look a man in the eye and take his life without blinking, and who needs more than that! Man, it’s a real bitch that you’re here Alice but take control. Think. You set out to destroy this city with your men by your side, you wanted to see this very city that chewed you up and spit you out, you wanted to see it burn to the ground and eat itself from the inside out like a fiery acid. You want to own this city and make everyone know that you, Alice Rose Polanco, Diamond, will rule this burning city and bring it to its knees and make it beg for your forgiveness-” She took a pause and stared at herself hard in the mirror before the smile vanished from her face.

“You can’t let being here stop you Alice.” She inched her face closer to the dingy full length mirror that hung on the bathroom wall.

“There is nothing more he can do to you. You’re already crazy! HAH! God when will this obnoxious clown realize this! If he would only stop trying to destroy you! His petty mind games are nothing to you. He can’t break something that’s already broken Alice! You already hit rock bottom and you damn well like it there! He’s not your keeper. To hell with that clown!” she was starting to raise her voice now, totally oblivious to the fact that she was starting to sound like someone who belonged in straight jacket, she had never talked to herself like this, but she realized it was kind of freeing.

“Alice Rose, you want to watch the world burn,” she reached her hand up and caressed her image that reflected back at her, she lowered her gaze and brought her voice down to a whisper, like she was telling herself a secret,

“but I want to be the one to set it on fire.”

**A/N: Whats up guys I’m back at it! I missed writing so much and after being in the hospital, moving, and changing schools, I’ve finally found some inspiration again! So buckle up and drop a review because nothing can stop me now! Xoxo**


	17. Dr. J

Chapter 17 DR. J   
Alice continued to stare at herself silently in the mirror, her thoughts running mad. She was no longer scared; she was the exact opposite in fact. She was now embracing her new mentality of playing the Joker’s little game, and doing everything in her power to win, even if winning meant having to sacrifice a little of her pride to appease the Joker in the process. In the end, as long as she got to see Gotham burn at her hands she didn’t care what happened in between, and she sure as hell was not going to let her being a prisoner of the Joker stop her.  
Suddenly, with all these thoughts racing through Alice’s mind, she got a growing chill in her spine. It was a nervous excited tingle, and it danced in her arms and down her legs. She let out an involuntary shiver and closed her eyes softly. The chill was almost calming. But it was gone in the matter of a second. Her neck started to burn and she clenched her fists hard, a new sudden rage boiling under her skin, her calmness gone.   
“Fuck!” she yelled.   
Before she could stop herself Alice punched the mirror, hard. She immediately felt the sharp shards lodge into her knuckles, and the glass clattered to the floor, shattering loudly.   
She had never felt that kind of rage before. It was a white hot rage that’s almost unspeakable. It was caught in her throat and burned in her head like acid. It was a gnawing and numbing all at the time. She wanted to scream to let it out but it wouldn’t. This rage didn’t come out with any kind of scream or yell. Nothing could satisfy it but the feeling of rage’s best friend; pain.   
She immediately bent down and started sweeping up the glass with her fingers, which caused more slivers to slice her hands.  
“Shit, shit, shit.” She stopped the panicked sweeping to run her bloodied fingers under water, but when she stood up she squealed with fear, suddenly noticing that he was standing in the door way, leaning on the frame nonchalantly, arms tightly crossed, and observing Alice’s incident silently.   
She met his watchful gaze for a moment, like a deer caught in the headlights. But then she returned her attention to her bleeding fingers, which were now leaving crimson droppings all over the linoleum floor. She turned the water on and let the cool stream wash over her heated hands. She let out a sigh of relief, and then looked back at the clown. Her face was still burning red from rage and now embarrassment. She shifted uncomfortably, trying to soothe the pain in her fingers and attempting to swallow the Joker’s rather threatening presence. She took a bold breath and forced herself to speak, in spite of her unsettled state.   
“Um, how long were you watching me?” she asked hesitantly with a nervous curiosity, gnawing at her lip waiting for his response.   
“Long enough,” he replied instantly, looking to the broken mirror and back to her, raising a judgmental eyebrow.  
Alice kept his gaze and shrugged her shoulders apologetically, she got nervous and started to ramble “I’m sorry, I guess I can try to fix it or go get a new one or som--” she was cut off before she could finish,  
“I don’t care about the mirror Alice. Never really liked it anyway.” He smirked at her slyly and she forced a smile back, clenching her teeth trying to ignore her stinging paws and his strange demeanor.   
“What I do care about though, is why my mirror is broken,” he gestured to the mess of glass that littered the floor. She followed his hand with her flickering eyes, and in that moment Alice was asking herself the same thing.   
“It really doesn’t concern you.” She replied un-amused, pushing her focus back to her bleeding hands and holding herself a little taller.   
He raised his brows at her rather snappish response and stepped through the doorway, placing himself directly behind Alice who was still too preoccupied with her hands to notice. He quickly garbed a fistful of her dark hair and pulled hard, snapping her head back and forcing her body against him, with his eyes looking down and burning into hers.   
“OW!” she said pointedly, immediately fidgeting, attempting to wiggle free, and unintentionally rubbing up against him.   
“Oh, that feels good.” The Joker darkly purred, he let out a high pitched laugh witch made Alice scoff in disgust, her cheeks now burning red, and fingers still stinging.   
He tightened his grip on her locks and with the other gloved hand he grabbed a large piece of broken glass.   
“Don’t fool yourself dear, you know you like it too.” He laughed violently once again, right into her ear. With each cackle she could smell his distinct whiskey soaked breath, which made her cringe. Then, his laughter halted abruptly.   
“Now Alice,” he whispered, his tone sounding dangerous, placing the piece of glass up against her exposed throat and pressing slightly, “why did you eh…punch my mirror?” He raised his eyebrows, looking down at her.   
Alice struggled beneath his powerful grip and tried to come up with an excuse as to why, but she wasn’t even sure why she punched the mirror in the first place. It wasn’t intentional, it just happened.  
“Umm,” she breathed, trying to move her head to talk easier. She heisted to speak and he pressed the glass harder on her bruised neck, she felt the shards pinching at her skin, and she could sense he was not playing around.  
“Okay, okay, um…in all honesty, I don’t know why.” She closed her eyes and held her breath, waiting for him to respond. He yanked harder on her hair, and started slowly dragging the glass across her skin,  
“Seriously, I really don’t know why! Just please stop! ” she pleaded loudly. With that he suddenly released her hair from his tightening grip, and dropped the makeshift weapon, letting it clatter to the floor, seeming completely un-amused. Alice recognized his surrender and instinctively moved out from in front of him and further into the cramped bathroom, afraid that he might get that random urge to attack her again.  
He did not though and observed Alice as she moved, eyeing her though the mirror, blinking rapidly, and shifting his focus from her perplexed face to her still bleeding hand.   
“Ya know, you should probably patch that up.” He said pointing to her hand, “trust me, holding a gun in a bloody hand is no fun at all,” he said casually, which made Alice’s face scrunch up with confusion. Did he forget that he was just about to kill her? Did he realize that he was actually being nice now?   
She forced herself to ignore his violent mood shift and just go with it, taking the advice she had been telling herself since she got there, keeping her ultimate goal in mind. “Um, yeah, I guess you’re right,” she forced out a laugh, “wouldn’t want my gun to slip out of my hand.” She forced another nervous laugh in hopes to keep the mood light, playing off of his rather nonchalant comment. He grinned in response,   
“I’m always right dollface.” He clicked his tongue and gave her a wink, to which Alice forced another grimaced smile. She was still gripping her hand to halt the bleeding, keeping a safe distance from the clown, who was now eyeing her curiously. He moved further into the room and crouched down, breaking his gaze, opening the rotted cabinet beneath the still running sink. Alice eyed him carefully as he rummaged through various containers and small boxes, not sure exactly what he was doing.   
“Ahhhha!” he exclaimed loudly, making Alice flinch a little. He stood up and held a roll of white gauze in his hand that was still wrapped in plastic, like it came directly from a hospital. “This should do it.” He said triumphantly, ripping open the seal, and taking the bandage in his stained hands. “Come ‘ere.” He demanded, without looking up, too focused on unraveling the bandage.   
Alice’s eyes were wide at this point. She was so confused as to why he was suddenly being a decent person that she forgot that her hand was bleeding. It took her a moment to actually comprehend what was happening.   
“Well? Are you just going to stand there?” he asked impatiently. Alice’s eyes were still wide when he caught her gaze. She blinked rapidly, and then shook her head, bringing herself back to reality. She stepped forward slowly and held out her injured hand, keeping her eyes on the clown the whole time.  
He reached out and grabbed her wrist rather roughly, but managed to delicately handle her bleeding knuckles. She closed her eyes tightly in response trying to with hold a yelp of pain. He kept his eyes trained on her hand as he slowly wrapped the gauze around and around, making it tight enough to suppress the bleeding but not too tight to cut of circulation. He gently weaved the bandage around her thumb and threw her fingers, almost like how a boxer would tape hands before a fight, making sure to wrap it tightly around the extra bloody parts. Alice was watching him almost amazed. He then secured the bandage with a small metal clip that held the wrap in place, and slapped her palm gently when the job was complete.   
“There,” he stated proudly, smiling at his handy work, “as good as new.” Alice bent her fingers and wiggled them around, taking note that he did a fine job wrapping her hand. She Smiled and then looked up at him,  
“Thanks, I um…appreciate it, really.” She smiled at him warmly again, actually thanking him for his deed. He scrunched his nose in response, shrugging, as if the task was nothing. He turned around and walked out of the bathroom to the room door. Alice kept her distance and stood in the bathroom waiting for him to leave, but he halted at the threshold. He looked back at her with a snarl on his lips and nodded his head forward in a rigid gesture,   
“Follow me.” He turned and was briskly out of sight by the time Alice had rolled her eyes. Noticing that he vanished, she rushed out the door and caught up with him, following him down the musty theater hallway. The Joker led them down two flights of stairs into the theater’s lower level where it appeared to once be the dressing rooms. Alice struggled to see through the old incandescent light but with her experience in theaters she was sure they were in a dressing or costume room of sorts.  
She could make out the large racks of tattered clothing and various hats and masks that adorned the wall. Shoes were scattered about on the floor, and the unmistakable smell of moth balls was all that she could smell. She looked around perplexed, finally asking herself what she was doing down there, and then she looked to the Joker who was flicking on the bright yellowed bulbs that lined a lengthy vanity mirror.   
“What are we doing down in the dressing rooms?” Alice openly asked still exploring the bizarre room with her eyes.   
The Joker walked up behind her and pushed her forward to the mirror, pulling out a chair from under the counter, he forced her to sit down. He stood behind her and Alice met his eyes through the reflection with a look of ‘what the fuck’ plastered on her face. He continued to stare at her intently with his tongue kneading around in his mouth, flicking it out to wet his lips every few seconds.   
“So?” Alice pushed, getting annoyed that he would not answer her question. He raised his eyebrows in response then moved to Alice’s side where he flung open a drawer, violently rummaging through it. His hands then landed on a crinkled brown paper bag, he pulled it out and dumped the contents in front of Alice. As the small metal tins clattered on the vanity he bent his head forward and moved his mouth close to her ear, darkly whispering,   
“People hate clowns.”


End file.
